Hurt Myself lyrics

Sometimes I think about if I lived a different way
Or if I ended it the way I planned on Christmas day
Never grew into a man what would the people think
I hate alcohol because alcohol is a evil drink
Nice that I don't care to remember at all and starin at the wall just wishin that that b*tch would call back
Slip and fall back into my depression deeper
No answer but experience is the greatest teacher
Cause now I don't fear nothin not even the Grim Reaper
I've been deeper, people who promised me to be for me forever they wasn't there either
My family treated my like a old pair of sneakers
Worn out on the road with my speakers blown out
Thinkin out loud "What the f*ck am I gonna do now"
Wasn't the proudest of my moments when I begged a homie to let me sleep on his couch tomorrow cause I felt so lonely
In the studio she said "You seem unusual, cause you're the one that shown me that life is beautiful"
Truth used to go so far I felt like now honesty seems to have a very short shelf life
The truth hurts I tried to hurt my self twice, first with sleeping pills, the second time I tried a knife
I never felt that type of crazy in my life, made a atheist feel like I should pray to Jesus Christ
I don't even know if god can hear me right
But belief in something greater made my spirit fight
Even when your window is fogged up plus your job sucks coughen up a few bucks
What a dreary life. Let me reiterate move into a bigger state
Down a interstate in the interest of bigger dinner plates
Plan to shine like some stars that never disintegrate