mental//prison lyrics

Split wrist
Pull it back or call it quits
Pain pushing addict
Suffering in silence
Medicated to block out the violence
Short sighted with a chip on my shoulder I'm trying
To push it down but soon reminded that the hurt just keeps on biting
And wounds
Break open from time to time -
Maybe you’ve stitched your scars
But the blood still pours from mine

Stop the bleeding
Give it a rest
They said
But I promise
I'm begging for the end
Survival of the fittest
But why am I fighting
To live in a mental prison
Biding my time to stay alive
Buying time till I die
In a cycle of violence
That carousels in my mind
Keep twisting thе knife
Your words never seem to catch up with your actions
Pеople are a game to you
You thrive off their reaction
Distractions
Obsessed with lust and attraction
Control and attachment
Don't learn from the past and
You hate yourself I know but you hate to see me go
Afraid you might end up alone
But you reap what you sow
Scary to think about if sh*t came to the surface
If people knew the real you
Would have it been worth it ?

Stop the bleeding
Give it a rest
They said
But I promise
I’m begging for the end
Survival of the fittest
But why am I fighting
To live in a mental prison
Biding my time to stay alive
Buying time till I die
In a cycle of violence
That carousels in my mind
Keep twisting the knife (space between this as well)
Salt to the wound
Whenever I think about you
It's been a year since I left
A year of me trying to make it make sense
Not sure what is worse
These f*cked up feelings or the fact that it still hurts
What will I get you to stop?
What will it take…..

I've always bit the bullet
To spare someone the pain
While I'm gutted from the inside
You held the f*cking blade
Near six years of my life
Now it's all a waste
All the times I trusted you
When I should have walked away
You'll always be my biggest mistake

I've always bit the bullet
Just to spare you the pain
Still gutted from the f*cking inside
Reminded of you everyday
Near six years of my life
But I'll continue to save face
Even though I know, I loved you
You’ll always be my biggest mistake