Meet the Demoman lyrics

*Demoman runs through a door and explodes it*

Demoman: What makes me a good Demoman?

*Cut to the Demoman sitting in a room full of explosives*

Demoman: If i were a bad Demoman, i wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with ya now, would i?

*Demoman charges into battle along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets.*

Demoman: Let's do it!

Demoman: Not one of ya's gonna' survive this.

*Cut back to Demoman's room*

Demo: One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie!

*Cut back to battle. The Demoman bounces a grenade off a wall and gibs a pursuing Pyro.*

*Cut to scene of the Demoman chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy.*

*A level 2 Sentry Gun upgrades to level 3.*

*Cut to scene of the Demoman continuing to chug from his Bottle of scrumpy.*
*Sentry Gun fires rockets at the Demoman.*

*Cut to a close up of the Demoman's face, still chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy.*

*The Demoman dodges the rockets as a nearby Scout is gunned down by the Sentry. The Demoman then fires two grenades, destroying the Sentry Gun.*

*Cut back to Demoman's room, music stops. The Demoman slams the now empty Bottle down on the table, breathing heavily. Camera blurs.*

Demoman: I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops.

*The Demoman knocks a grenade off the table, arming it in the process (it begins to blink).*

Demoman: They've got more f-[long censored]-s than they've got the likes of me.

*The Demoman starts to drink from the empty Bottle, then notices the camera and becomes lucid again.*

Demoman: So...

*The ending segment of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" starts to play.*

Demoman: "...T'all you fine dandies so proud, so c*cksure.

*The Demoman runs out to the final capture point in Gravelpit and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces. A devious look comes over the Demoman's face and he runs with BLU in hot pursuit*

Demoman: Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!
*The Demoman passes a door frame and covers it in sticky bombs*

Demoman: I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end!

*The Heavy notices the sticky bombs around the door frame, and his expression changes from smugness to one of shock. The Demoman throws a mock salute and activates the sticky bombs, gibbing all his pursuers.*

*The Demoman walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around him.*

Demoman: Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!

*TF2 Outro plays*