My Secret Weapon lyrics

[HELENA, spoken]
Then we make discovery!
In my face crème, we put the elixir of woman
The hormone that makes her different from the man!

[HARRY, spoken]
Estrogen?

[HELENA, spoken]
Brilliant, no?

[HELENA]
It’s my secret weapon
My secret weapon
To take America by storm
Feminine quintessence
Cooked down to its essence
This can make the skin transform

[HELENA, spoken]
Whoosh!

[HELENA]
Want to conquer fashion
And also cash in?
As the French would say
“Cherchez la femme”
Fight the march of time
And look sublime
With new estrogenic hormone crème
[HELENA, spoken]
With this crème, you can postpone the menopause

[HARRY, spoken]
Defy age itself!

[HELENA, spoken]
Skin like the tuchas of a baby

[HARRY, spoken]
I can work with that

[HARRY]
It’s your secret weapon

[HELENA]
Our secret weapon
Your turn to step into the fray

[HARRY]
Start with Walter Winchell
Every column inch’ll
Show New York you’re here to stay
We’ll seduce new clients
By selling science
[HELENA]
Women must embrace the modern age
My job is to make la crème de la crème

[HARRY]
Mine will be to make it all the rage

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
But, Tommy, look at the jar!
Pink! Arden pink!
The color of every woman’s childhood, when youth still springs eternal

[TOMMY]
It’s our secret weapon

[ELIZABETH]
Our secret weapon

[TOMMY]
Release this urgent to the trades
“Evening day and sport pinks”

[ELIZABETH]
“Boudoir and resort pinks”

[TOMMY]
“Now announcing twelve new shades”
[ELIZABETH, spoken]
Pink for every month of the year!

[ARDEN GIRL]
“Champagne pink is festive”

[ARDEN GIRL]
“Blush rose suggestive”

[TOMMY]
Sky blue pink stays fresh from nine to five

[ELIZABETH]
Free from harmful hormones
Others use
Step into the pink and come alive

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
We’re in the pink alright!

[HELENA, spoken]
So, how do we get these women to give up this pink?
My crème, she is twice as good

[HARRY, spoken]
“Twice as good,” an interesting notion

[HARRY]
New “twin youth-ifiers”
Double your buyers

[HELENA, spoken]
How?

[HARRY]
Two variations on a theme

[HELENA, spoken]
Go on

[HARRY]
One jar is the day cream
One jar is the night cream
Different labels, same cream

[HELENA, spoken]
I like it!

[HELENA]
Product so essential

[HARRY]
So fundamental

[HELENA & HARRY]
You will need it twice for your toilette!

[HELENA, spoken]
Such a team we make, Harry!

[HARRY]
Charge ‘em twice the price
At half your cost
That is what I call a matching set!

[HELENA, spoken]
It’s genius!

[HARRY, spoken]
Thank you

[HELENA, spoken]
No, me, for hiring you

[TOMMY, spoken]
She’s seen a thirty percent rise in sales
All because of that Madison Avenue Shakespeare
Give me the same title that he’s got

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
Tommy, don’t

[TOMMY, spoken]
Invisible, is that what I’m supposed to be?

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
For now

(singing)
You’re my secret weapon
Top secret weapon
You keep the business in the black

[TOMMY, spoken]
Where no one can see me

[ELIZABETH]
Making nice with buyers
Calming down suppliers
Filling in the skills I lack

[TOMMY, spoken]
My name on the masthead, maybe?

[ELIZABETH]
Future prospects sunny
We’re coining money
It’s a winning formula

[TOMMY, spoken]
I guess

[ELIZABETH]
Everything you need
You’re got right here

[TOMMY]
All except the title

[ELIZABETH]
Patience dear
That’s the secret weapon
To our success