It Never Would’ve Worked lyrics

[HARRY, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen
Like most wandering minstrels, I have a few tales to tell
Alas, most of them end in shattered dreams
And a fractured heart
With the help of my three angels
I would like to recount some of the dramas of my life

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Ain't it sad

[HARRY]
Call the hearse

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Just too bad

[HARRY]
Even worse

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Fate is fate

[HARRY]
Fate's a curse
[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
'Lucidate

[HARRY]
I met a girl in Tallahassee

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Talla—who?

[HARRY]
We had a whirl in Tallahassee

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
So what's new?

[HARRY]
She was as hot as pompano in a pan
I was her man
Yeah, but I ran

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Sounds insane

[HARRY]
It was sad
[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Do explain

[HARRY]
You see, she liked rich
I was broke

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
It never would've worked (What?)

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would've worked

[HARRY]
She drank Mumms
I drank Coke

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
It never would've worked (Never)

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have worked

[HARRY]
Just plain passion wouldn't satisfy
[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY]
Never would've worked
But it would've been fun to try

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
What a shame

[HARRY]
It was rough

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
That's the game

[HARRY]
Love is tough
Then came this chick in Tuscaloosa

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Ooh, that's hot

[HARRY]
We made it quick in Tuscaloosa

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
And why not?

[HARRY]
She had a body that they shouldn't permit
Man, did we fit
Yeah, but I split

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Not again

[HARRY]
I repeat

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Oh, you men

[HARRY]
She was sweet sixteen
Minus one
It never would have worked

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have worked

[HARRY]
And her pa had a gun
It never would've worked
I decided
Better say goodbye

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Goodbye

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY]
Never would've worked
But it would've been fun to try

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
My poor friend
'Sthat the end?
Is there more?

[HARRY]
There is more

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Ooh

[HARRY]
I met this cat in Amarillo

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Ooh, meow

[HARRY]
An acrobat upon the pillow

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Wuh-wuh-wow

[HARRY]
She was wild as any

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Cat in the zoo
What did I / you do?

[HARRY]
Man, but I flew

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
So he flew

[HARRY]
Not my sort

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Why did you?

[HARRY]
She liked short and tall
Male and fe—
It never would've worked

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Male and fe—?

[HARRY]
Half the town
Had her key
It never would've worked

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have worked

[HARRY]
Sears and Roebuck
Envied her supply

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would've worked
But it would've been fun to try, try, try
Never would've worked
But it would've been fun to—

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have
Poor little baby, it never would've worked, aw

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY]
Poor little baby, it would've been fun, but (Worked)

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Never would have worked

[SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Uh oh, it never ever would have

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Worked

[HARRY]
It never would've worked
But it would have been fun to

[HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE]
Try