Romance Novel lyrics

[Intro]
A lot of people don't knows this but I, Danny Sexbang
Have been quietly working on the sexiest romance novel ever
For the past sixteen years
I would like to share a taste of it with you now
Please enjoy this excerpt from my deeply sensual tale
"Claudia Goes to Schlongtown, Part 6, The Erectening"
Ninja Brian, would you?

[Verse 1]
"I love p*nis" Claudia said to Jeff, seductively caressing both of her yam-yams
"Allow me to get you some from the kitchen", Jeff said, with a twinkle in his eye
"No, not peanuts Jeff, those aren't the nuts I'm interested in"
She grabbed him on the p*nisiest part of his body
"But a peanut isn't a nut", Jeff mansplained, "It's a legume"

[Bridge]
Whoa, Brian, what's the problem
What do you mean it's not romantic
I'm an amazing lover and I've lived through this exact scenario hundreds of times

[Verse 2]
"I feel like we're getting off topic Jeff", Claudia said
"But now that you've mentioned it, I could go for a peanut butter sandwich"
"p*nis butter? I don't think I have any of that", Jeff groaned hornily
[Bridge]
Eat di*ks Brian, this is romantic as f*ck
Do not throw that piano at me again
Fine, I'll cut ahead to the end of the chapter

[Verse 3]
Claudia and Jeff lay naked in the p*nis butter tub on top of the Empire State Building
Their bodies entwined like two sex lampreys
"Should we invite Ninja Brian over?" Claudia asked
"No", Jeff yelled, "Ninja Brian sucks and his face is lame and he's stupid
And his di*k is so small that--"

[Outro]
Not the piano!
Ah m-m-my peanuts