99 Problems lyrics

[Intro: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Yeah, last year a lot of motherf*ckers asked me
Why I didn't do no old, sex, nasty sh*t
But, this year, I went down to Miami and got my n*gga from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house (Yeah I'm the motherf*ckin' n*gga)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these n*ggas is havin' girl problem, Marq (Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it

[Verse 1: Ice-T]
I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a b*tch with hair, a b*tch with none
A b*tch with a knife, a b*tch with a gun
A b*tch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a b*tch over there, hey, the one I'm gonna get
But, yo, but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet, I'll slam her sister, though
Word, Ice in the whole damn herd
I f*ck 'em all and leave 'em on the curb
I got a b*tch with a mink who rocks a fat gold link
Who likes to f*ck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink
Got a b*tch with tits, a b*tch with ass
A b*tch with none, but hey, I'd give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
Got ninety-nine problems and a b*tch ain't one, hit it
[Chorus: Ice-T]
Nah, a b*tch ain't one

[Verse 2: Ice-T]
I got a b*tch that's old, a b*tch that's new
A b*tch who loves velvet in the colors blue
I got a b*tch who's fat, a b*tch who's built
A b*tch so old her titties give out powdered milk
I got a b*tch who's funny, a b*tch who ain't
A b*tch who can sing, a b*tch who cain't
A b*tch who loves f*cking on a airplane
I even got a b*tch off Soul Train
I got a b*tch who rolls a ragtop Benz
Long ends
I got a b*tch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun
I got a b*tch who plays piano, a b*tch who don't
A b*tch who dances naked, a b*tch who won't
A b*tch who's short, a b*tch who's tall
A b*tch who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
Got ninety-nine problems and a b*tch ain't one, hit me

[Interlude: Ice-T]
Yo', Marquis, you from Miami, man
Why don't you show these motherf*ckers all the over the world
The 2 Live style of how the b*tches treat a motherf*ckin' fly n*gga like you?
[Verse 3: Brother Marquis]
I got ninety-nine problems and a b*tch ain't one of them
I don't trip on hoes, 'cause I don't need none of them
pus*y's the temptation, di*k's the persuasion
All hoes suck c*ck, n*gga, how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick di*k in they mouth, take it out and I skeet on 'em
The n*gga the one-nighter, the b*tch exciter
I only love my hoes when I'm going up inside her
Problem number one is getting money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nothing 'cause I ain't offering
I go hard on my b*tches, 'cause I'm never never softening
Putting the demand on 'em, f*ck 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So f*ck how you feel, your f*cking cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Getting pus*y's just another expense
If pus*y pays the bills, then di*k pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to c*m
I've got ninety-nine problems and a b*tch ain't one, ha

[Interlude: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Yo Marquis, my motherf*cker
You got problems, man? (A b*tch ain't one)
Aw, sh*t, now let me tell you how to do this sh*t
[Verse 4: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
I got a b*tch that loves to G
She'll f*ck you right after she f*cks me
I got a b*tch who loves boats
I got a b*tch who loves handcuffs and ropes
I got a b*tch that's fast, a b*tch that's slow
A b*tch that's a virgin and a b*tch that's a ho
A b*tch that lies, a b*tch that's true
A b*tch who's a man because they're b*tches too
I got a b*tch that's cool, a b*tch that's hot
A b*tch who loves rap, a b*tch who loves rock
A b*tch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
I got a b*tch that runs, I got a b*tch that walks
I got a b*tch that yells, I got a b*tch who talks
I got a b*tch that's dirty, got a b*tch that's neat
I got a super-fine b*tch that I knocked in the swap meet
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems and a b*tch ain't one, hit me

[Chorus]
No, a b*tch ain't one
Huh, you know a b*tch ain't one

[Outro: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
You know what I'm sayin'? I got problems with my motherf*ckin' rent, Marquis
But a b*tch ain't one
Man you got yourself nothing man
f*ck them raggedy stank-ass hoes, n*gga
A b*tch ain't one
I got a problems staying out here on these streets
With the police trying to take a n*gga out, you know?
But a b*tch ain't one
Got problems with motherf*ckers buying my records
But a b*tch ain't one
f*ck 'em all, n*gga, f*ck them motherf*ckers
You know what I'm sayin'? A b*tch ain't one
Got problems man
All them motherf*ckers can kiss my motherf*ckin' ass, for real
Really, n*ggas worrying about b*tches
They better, they better find something else to worry about