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My love is a masterpeace to thrive in
Within my mind i strive to succeed and drive my dreams
I stay with in a shell of hope that my rhymes will stay dope
Can't sleep living out these horror dreams
Only 13 but I have seen darker things
f*ck life its too played out like a movie scene
Literally f*ck life till she start to scream
Its the start of the equinox
The time where we leave dark thoughts in a hollow box
Well these dark thoughts ain't never leaving my head
I feel so alone
I feel so broke
My mum dont speak to me
This ain't a home
Im walking to the river
I dont feel no hope
I just want to jump in thats not a joke
I want to drown
Because i always have a frown
I wish my father never did what he did
But i couldn't stop him from smoking all those cigarettes
I couldn't get him to pay attention to his four kids
Couldn't go to mom and get help cause she was worse
Everytime i talked to that woman i got hurt
She was a major curse
Towards my young childhood
I would rap to myself cause i was all alone
When i got home all i heard was my mom moan and groan
You can guess where my dad was
He was such
An ass so much
He was the rust that formed around the windshield of my life
Felt like i was bein' cut by a knife
When i was 15 years old my father split
Because of the things he can't admit
When he left my mother sunk into a depression
All i was left with was a growing aggression
My anger was uncontrollable
For my family i was unbearable
Most would say i was intolerable
Feelings now at a high peak and there dragging me down to a place
Where you feel the warmth of the cold, feeling naked and deprived
Always lied to always had a beat to go to always had a room to be alone in
So now if I need insurance then I go to auto zone because I’m in the zone
Receiving 3 letters from a forgetful mother and a text from a absentee father
Wow isn’t this a ironic way to start the path of a warrior
Deliver my message through a courier so I don’t have to shoot the messenger
But now their dead, regret some things i said to them
Life and Death the fate it's always set
I have told you most of my life
I still don't think you understand
It isn't the kind of pain I get from a knife
Even now, your responses are getting bland
I'm an animal
So indestructable, I'm inflammable
To my enemies I'm like a cannibal
I'm magic, better than Dynamo
Come sit over here and watch my show
My raps are nothin but dope
Battle with me? For you man there's no hope
I'm a lion bout to kill your antelope
Situation is so tense that you can't cope
I eat wack rappers
If they be man or hoe
You can try to push me down, yeah keep me low
But whatever you do you'll never stop my flow
Haterz don't affect my head no more
So why the hell you even tryin to for?
You collect foodstamps, I get dough
Im ice cool, you just ice cold!
Haha, it's comical. I'm f*ckin' unstoppable
I'll give ya one hit and a trip to the hospital
I'm not civil, I'm like Godzilla
I'm on 'til the beat stops
Clonazepam, i had 3 pops
Just wait 'til you see what i've got
I once went to highschool
Got bullied
Cause i was white, and rapping
Thinkin they're all bright
When all they do is sit around and blight
Pages, pages, with constant hate
No matter who you are
Feeling disgression as you are
The constancy
Of a proxomite evaluation
Of my lyrical system which
Derived from my pure hate
For those who had to create
Feelings, beatings, all the same to me
Like a burning flame
Without the warmth and breath
We both had dreams of being great
But it was not, the feeling not so bold
You never knew how it felt
To be on the bad side of town
Where you got bricks thrown from walls
Tryin to knock you down
But all you can do is keep walking
The same old empty streets that you walkin'
Living life without fear
Impossible, these preachers comin at you
Telling you how to lead your life
But f*ck you man, go learn the sh*t yo'self
Before you preach your ass over to my shelter
Cause thats what it is
Not a home
A little crummy sh*t-hole
Trust me
Its no fun bein' the only white boy rappin
But living life without fear
Turns the impossible to the possible
Demolishing, every corner
Leadin you into the light
Where they rhyme tight
No words can escape the pause
In which these bast*rds applause
When you mend your broken mind and find that rap is an obsession
I think that this confession comes from all of my aggression
That I created when the doctor understated my depression
And in this session I refuse to let my mind go over matter
So i smatter any rapper who is claiming he is badder
An ill hammer at your cranium until it f*ckin shatters
Wack until I hear a crunch and see some f*ckin blood splatters
I'm coming at ya for a your neck man, no rhyme or re about it
To leave a lasting imprint of my f*ckin hand around it
I'm bounding for the bountry to make sure your label found me
And I'll lay it on the line to find your rap is so unsoundly
Life's hell on earth, f*ck , world please don't give another birth
Can't handle this loss anymore, soon ill have a heart attack and be on the floor
But I’m still that 18 year old who stares at a baby picture and says what have I become
Because sometimes I wish I never wrote down a line to go with a rhyme
Wished I never listened to any rappers at any time because now my mind is a time bomb
Waiting to blow everyone away by the passion I dish out and the intelligence
I give out pain so severe feel like Jesus with the lashes and Pontius with the choices
Stumbling down a hall alone and void of noise until
I hear the voices telling me you are a victim and you will
Never be mentioned in any song never going to have a nice house
And never a wife you can spend on and never a child you can spend time with
Never a friend who will listen to you who will go the distance with you
Never a community who will respect you for what you do never be a real model
Because I don’t need to play no role
Tgray taught me that wish everyone I loved could be brought back into this one room
So I can tell them the truth of how I feel
Right now because right now I feel like a moderator within 2 opposing factions
And each one is trying to pull me back and forth thinking I will support their transaction
Yet i don’t even know how to do fractions so tell me now how to be a example of good
When one person says I don’t do it right and another says you should never try
And one person says you almost got it right
And one person says are you out of your mind
And one person says wow that doesn’t rhyme
And one person says that doesn’t even make no sense with that line..
See sometimes I doubt myself of getting
Fame and wealth but see when I grew up a-part from myself
Then that means I never knew anything of myself
So I’m a stranger to my own tears