Sam’s House lyrics

by

Method Man


INT. SAM’S HOUSE: FOYER [Sam and Andrew enter the house and her dogs and two large dogs hop on and begin barking at Andrew.]

SAM
Kevin, down. Mom! Come on. Kick him in the balls. Kick him in the balls. Mom!

OLIVIA
All right! Everybody down! Who wants to eat? Do you want to eat? Then get the f*ck off him. Kevin! Get off! [Dogs get off of Andrew and leave]. I'm so sorry. We just don't have the time to train them. Who's got the time to train them?

SAM
Mom, this is Andrew.

OLIVIA
Welcome. Welcome. I'm sorry the place is a wreck. Honey, I asked you to get the metal wheel out of the hamster cage.

SAM
I forgot.

OLIVIA
Well, you forgot and now Jelly's dead. Luckily, I got Peanut Butter out in time. We have to get the only hamsters on planet Earth...who can't figure out a stupid hamster wheel. There's a tin box on the kitchen counter. You can do the honors. I have to get to work. It's nice to meet you. Andrew, right?

ANDREW
Yes.

OLIVIA
Andrew. Very nice to meet you. Samantha, put the clothes in the dryer and bury Jelly.
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