Pain in da Ass Stewardess (Skit) lyrics

by

Method Man


Lady On Intercom:
Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be landing in about 20 minutes, descending into Kennedy Airport. The time is 5:20 am and we're a little bit early this evening. The weather in New York is 55 degrees and there is a light rain falling
Thank you so much for flying with us, I hope you had a pleasant flight. We'll be coming around collecting your blankets and headphones. So, please fasten your seat belts and store your carry on luggage in the seat beneath your... ass. (laughs)

Stewardess:
Sir, can you please fasten your seat belt, we're preparing for landing

Redman:
Aight, I'mma do it right now, I just gotta get something out of this bag

Stewardess:
Sir, can you please put your seat in the upright position and store your tray table away?

Redman:
Alright, hold on, I told you I'mma do it right in one minute, I just got to get something out of this bag

Stewardess:
Sir, can you please turn off that Walkman, I've been telling you this entire flight it's against federal regulations to use a Walk-

Redman:
Hold on, hold on, hold on, I ain't trying to hear that, listen, I told y'all I was going to do it in one minute, you're starting to get on my f*cking nerves, get the f*ck outta here, 'aight?

Stewardess:
Sir, is there a problem?

Redman:
*sighs* Yeah, there's a problem
Stewardess:
Do I have to alert the captain?

Redman:
Yeah... Alert your captain this. (gun c*cks) Get the f*ck over here!
(stewardess screams) Come here, b*tch!
(stewardess still screaming) Take me to the f*cking captain!
(door opens, stewardess still screaming)
Who's in charge here?!

Captain:
I am

(Gun Fires)

Redman:
I said, who's in charge here?

Co-Pilot:
Uh, you are

Redman:
Alright then, now turn this motherf*cker around!

Redman talking on intercom:
Is this sh*t on?
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. This is a mother-f*cking stickup. We'll be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet
I want your wallet, your cash, your jewels, your rings, baby rings, motherf*cking shoes, sneakers, socks, I want the credit cards, the welfare cards. I even want your f*cking frequent flyer miles
I'm telling you the first motherf*cker to move is gonna catch this motherf*cker
Now send the bag around... Thank you
(people start screaming)
Redman:
Motherf*cker, didn't I say don't move?!

(gun fires 4 time)
(Plane starts falling)
(people still screaming)
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