Compass, Ironside.
Com. Welcome, good Captain Ironside, and Brother;
You shall along with me. I'm lodg'd hard by
Here, at a noble Ladies House i'the'street,
The Lady Loadstones (one will bid us welcome)
Where there are Gentlewomen, and male Guests
Of several humours, carriage, constitution,
Proffesion too: but so diametral
One to another, and so much oppos'd,
As if I can but hold them all together,
And draw'em to a sufferance of themselves,
But till the Dissolution of the Dinner,
I shall have just occasion to believe
My wit is magisterial; and our selves
Take infinite delight i'the success.
Iro. Troth, Brother Compass, you shall pardon me;
I love not so to multiply acquaintance
At a Meals cost; 'twill take off o'my freedom
So much; or bind me to the least observance.
Com. Why, ironside, you know I am a Scholar,
And part a Soldier; I have been employed
By some the greatest States-men o' the Kingdom,
These many years: and in my time convers'd
With sundry humors, suiting so my self
To company, as honest Men, abd Knaves,
Good-fellows, Hypocrites, all sorts of People,
Though never so divided in themselves,
Have studied to agree still in the usage,
And handling of me (which hath been fair too.)
Iro. Sir I confess you to be one well read
In men, and Manners; and that, usually,
the most ungovern'd Persons, you being present,
Rather subject themselves unto your censure,
Than give you least occasion of distaste,
By making you the subject of their mirth:
But (to deal plainly with you, As a Brother)
When ever I distrust i' my own Valour:
I'll never bear me on anothers Wit,
Or offer to bring off, or save my self
On the opinion of your Judgement, Gravity,
Discretion, or what else. But (being away)
You 'are sure to have les--wit-work, gentle Brother,
My humour being as stubborn as the rest,
And as unmanageable.
Com. you do mistake
My Caract of your friendship all this while!
Or at what rate I reckon your assistance,
Knowing by long experience, to such Animals,
Half-hearted Creatures, as these are , your Fox there,
Unkennel'd with a cholerick, ghastly aspect,
Or two or three comminatory Terms,
Would run their fears to any hole of shelter,
Worth a days laughter! I am for the sport;
For nothing else.
Iro. But, Brother, I ha'seen
A Coward, meeting with a Man as valiant
As our St. George (not knowing him to be such,
Or having at least opinion that he was so)
Set to him roundly, I, and swinge, him soundly;
And i' the vertue of that error, having
Once overcome, resolv'd for ever after
To erre; and think no person, nor no creature
More valiant than himself.
Com. I think that too:
But, brother (could I over intreat you)
I have some little plot upon the rest
If you would be contended, to endure
A sliding reprehension at my hands,
To hear your self, or your proffesion glanc'd at
In a few slighting terms: It would beget
Me such a main Authority, o' the bie,
And do your self no dis-repute at all!
Iro. Compass, I know that universal Causes
In nature produce nothing, but as meeting
Particular Causes, to determine those,
And specifie their acts. This is a piece
Of oxford Science, staies with me ere since
I left that place; and I have often found
the truth thereof, in my private passions;
For I do never fell my self perturb'd
With any general words 'gainst my proffesion,
Unless by some smart stroke upon my self
they do awake, and stir me: else, to wise
And well experienc'd Men, words do but signifie;
They have no power, save with dull Grammarians,
Whose Souls are nought, but a Syntaxis of them.
Com. Here comes our Parson, Parson Palate here,
A venerable Youth! I must salute him,
And a great Clerk! He's going to the Ladies,
And though you see him thus, without his Cope,
I dare assure you, he's our Parish Pope!
God save my reverend Clergy, Parson Palate.