Epicœne ~ Act 2. Scene 4 lyrics

by

Ben Jonson


A LANE, NEAR MOROSE'S HOUSE.

ENTER TRUEWIT, DAUPHINE,AND CLERIMONT.

True:
Are you sure he is not gone by?

Daup:
No, I staid in the shop ever since.

Cler:
But he may take the other end of the lane.

Daup:
No, I told him I would be here at this end: I appointed him
hither.

True:
What a barbarian it is to stay then!

Daup:
Yonder he comes.

Cler:
And his charge left behind him, which is a very good sign,
Dauphine.

[ENTER CUTBEARD.]

Daup:
How now Cutbeard! succeeds it, or no?

Cut:
Past imagination, sir, omnia secunda; you could not have
pray'd to have had it so well. Saltat senex, as it is in the
proverb; he does triumph in his felicity, admires the party! he
has given me the lease of my house too! and I am now going for a
silent minister to marry them, and away.

True:
'Slight, get one of the silenced ministers, a zealous brother
would torment him purely.

Cut:
c*m privilegio, sir.

Daup:
O, by no means, let's do nothing to hinder it now: when it
is done and finished, I am for you, for any device of vexation.

Cut:
And that shall be within this half hour, upon my dexterity,
gentlemen. Contrive what you can in the mean time, bonis avibus.

[EXIT.]

Cler:
How the slave doth Latin it!

True:
It would be made a jest to posterity, sirs, this day's mirth,
if ye will.

Cler:
Beshrew his heart that will not, I pronounce.

Daup:
And for my part. What is it?

True:
To translate all La-Foole's company, and his feast thither,
to-day, to celebrate this bride-ale.

Daup:
Ay marry; but how will't be done?

True:
I'll undertake the directing of all the lady-guests thither,
and then the meat must follow.

Cler:
For God's sake, let's effect it: it will be an excellent comedy
of affliction, so many several noises.

Daup:
But are they not at the other place already, think you?

True:
I'll warrant you for the college-honours: one of their faces
has not the priming colour laid on yet, nor the other her smock
sleek'd.

Cler:
O, but they'll rise earlier then ordinary, to a feast.

True:
Best go see, and assure ourselves.

Cler:
Who knows the house?

True:
I will lead you: Were you never there yet?

Daup:
Not I.

Cler:
Nor I.

True:
Where have you lived then? not know Tom Otter!

Cler:
No: for God's sake, what is he?

True:
An excellent animal, equal with your Daw or La-Foole, if not
transcendant; and does Latin it as much as your barber: He is his
wife's subject, he calls her princess, and at such times as these
follows her up and down the house like a page, with his hat off,
partly for heat, partly for reverence. At this instant he is
marshalling of his bull, bear, and horse.

Daup:
What be those, in the name of Sphynx?

True:
Why, sir, he has been a great man at the Bear-garden in his
time; and from that subtle sport, has ta'en the witty denomination
of his chief carousing cups. One he calls his bull, another his
bear, another his horse. And then he has his lesser glasses, that
he calls his deer and his ape; and several degrees of them too;
and never is well, nor thinks any entertainment perfect, till
these be brought out, and set on the cupboard.

Cler:
For God's love!—we should miss this, if we should not go.

True:
Nay, he has a thousand things as good, that will speak him
all day. He will rail on his wife, with certain common places,
behind her back; and to her face—

Daup:
No more of him. Let's go see him, I petition you.

[EXEUNT.]

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