The D E D I C A T I O N to the R E A D E R.
IF thou be such, I make thee my Patron, and
dedicate the Piece to thee: If not so much, would I had been at the Charge of thy better Litterature. Howsoever, if thou canst but spell, and join my Sense, there is more hope of thee, than of a Hundred fastidious Impertinents, who were there present the first Day, yet never made piece of their Prospect the right way. What did they come for, then? thou will't ask me. I will as punctually answer: To see, and to be seen: To make a general muster of themselves in their Clothes of Credit: and possess the Stage against the Play: To dislike all, but mark nothing. And by their confidence of rising between the Acts, in Oblique Lines, make Affidavit to the whole House, of their not understanding one Scene. Arm'd with this Prejudice, as the Stage-furniture, or Arras-cloaths, they were there, as Spectators, away. For the Faces in the Hangings, and they beheld alike; so I wish they may do ever, and do trust my self and my Book, rather to thy rustick Candor, than all the Pomp of their Pride, and solemn Ignorance to boot. Fare thee well, and fall too. Read
B E N. J O N S O N.
T H E
A R G U M E N T.
The Lord F R A M P U L, a Noble Gentleman, well educated, and bred a Schollar in Oxford, was married young, to a Vertuous Gentlewoman, Sylly's Daughter of the South, whose worth (though he truly enjoy'd) he never could rightly value; but, as many green Husbands (given over to their extravagant Delights, and some peccant Humors of their own) occasion'd in his over loving Wife, so deep a Melancholy, by his leaving her in the time of her lying in of her second Daughter, she having brought him only two Daughters, Frances and Lætitia: and (out of her hurt Fancy) interpreting that to be a Cause of her Husband's coldness in Affection, her not being blest with a Son, took a Resolution with her self, after her Months time, and Thanksgiving rightly in the Church, to quit her home, with a Vow never to return, till by reducing her Lord, she could bring a wish'd happiness to the Family.
He in the mean time returning, and hearing of this departure of his Lady, began, though over-late, to resent the Injury he had done her: and out of his c*ck-braind Resolution, entred into as solemn a quest of her. Since when, neither of them had been heard of. But the eldest Daughter Frances, by the Title of Lady Frampul, enjoyed the Sate, her Sister being lost young, and is the sole Relict of the Family.
Act I. Here begins our Comedy.
This Lady, being a Brave, Bountiful Lady, and enjoying this free, and plentiful Estate, hath an ambitious Disposition to be esteemed the Mistress of many Servants, but loves none. And hearing of a famous New-Inn, that is kept by a merry Host, call'd Good-stock in Barnet, invites some Lords and Gentlemen to wait on her thither, as well to see the Fashions of the Place, as to make themselves merry, with the Accidents on the by. It happens, there is a melancholick Gentleman, one Master Lovel, hath been lodg'd there some days before in the Inn, who, (unwilling to be seen) is surpriz'd by the Lady, and invited by Prudence, the Ladies Chamber-maid, who is elected Governess of the Sports in the Inn for that day, and instal'd their Soveraign. Lovel is perswaded by the Host, and yields to the Ladies invitation, which concludes the First Act. Having reveal'd his Quality before to the Host.
In the Secoud
Prudence and her Lady express their Anger conceiv'd at the Taylor, who had promised to make Prudence a new Suit, and bring it home, as on the Eve, against this day. But he failing of his word, the Lady had commanded a Standard of her own best Apparel to be brought down; and Prudence is so fitted. The Lady being put in mind, that she is there alone without other Company of Women, borrows (by the advice of Pru) the Hosts Son of the House, whom the dress with the Hosts consent, like a Lady, and send out the Coachman, with the empty Coach, as for a Kinswoman of her Ladiships, Mistress Lætitia Sylly, to bear her Company: Who attended with his Nurse, an old Chair-woman in the Inn, drest oddly by the Hosts Council, is believed to be a Lady of Quality, and so receiv'd, entertain'd, and Love made to her by the young Lord Beaufort, &c. In the mean time the Fly of the Inn is discover'd to Colonel Glorious, with the Militia of the House, below the Stairs, in the Drawer, Tapster, Chamberlain, and Hostler, inferiour Officers; with the Coochman Trundle, Ferret, &c. And, the preparation is made, to the Ladies design upon Lovel, his upon her, and the Soveraigns upon both.
Here begins, at the Third Act, the Epitasis, or business of the Play.
Lovel, by the dexterity and wit of the Soveraign of the Sports, Prudence; having two hours assigned him, of free Colloquy, and Love-making to his Mistress, one after Dinner, the other after Supper; the Court being set, is demanded by the Lady Frampul, what Love is? as doubting if there were any such Power, or no. To whom he first by Definition, and after by Argument answers, proving and describing the effects of Love, so vively, as she who had derided the Name of Love before, hearing his Discourse, is now so taken both with the Man and his Matter, as she confesseth her self enamour'd of him, and, but for the ambition she hath to enjoy the other Hour, had presently declar'd her self: which gives both him and the Spectators occasion to think she yet dissembles, notwithstanding the payment of her kiss, which he Celebrates. And the Court dissolves, upon a news brought, of a new Lady, a newer Coach, and a new Coachman call'd Barnaby.
Act. IV. The House being put into a noise, with the Rumor of this new Lady, and there being drinking below in the Court, the Colonel, Sir Glorious, with Bat Burst, a broken Citizen, and Hodge Huffle his Champion; she falls into their Hands, and being attended but with one Foot-man, is uncivilly entreated by them, and a Quarrel commenc'd, but is rescued by the Valour of Lovel; which beheld by the Lady Frampul, from the Window, she is invited up for safety, where coming, and conducted by the Host, her Gown is first discover'd to be the same with the whole Suit, which was bespoken for Pru, and she her self, upon examination, found to be Pinnacia Stuff, the Taylors Wife, who was wont to be preoccupied in all his Customers best Clothes, by the Foot-man her Husband. They are both condemn'd and censur'd, she stript like a Doxey, and sent home a foot. In the interim, the second hour goes on, and the question, at sute of the Lady Frampul, is chang'd from Love to Valour; which ended, he receives his second kiss, and by the Rigor of the Soveraign, falls into a Fit of Melancholy, worse, or more desperate than the first.
The Fifth and last Act is the Catastrophe, or knitting up of all, where Fly brings word to the Host, of the Lord Beauforts being married privately in the New-stable, to the suppos'd Lady, his Son; which the Host receives as an omen of Mirth; But complains that Lovel is gone to Bed melancholick, when Prudence appears drest in the new Suit, applauded by her Lady, and employ'd to retrive Lovel. The Host encounters them, with this relation of L. Beaufort's marriage, which is seconded by the L. Latimer, and all the Servants of the House. In this while, L. Beaufort comes in, and professes it, calls for his Bed and Bride-bowl, to be made ready, the Host forbids both, shews whom he hath married, and discovers him to be his Son, a Boy. The Lord Bridegroom confounded, the Nurse enters like a frantick Bedlam, cries out on Fly, says she is undone in her Daughter, who is confessed to be the Lord Frampul's Child, Sister to the other Lady, the Host to be their Father, She his Wife. He finding his Children, bestows them one on Lovel, the other on the Lord Beaufort, the Inn upon Fly, who had been a Gipsey with him; offers a Portion with Prudence, for her Wit, which is refused; and she taken, by the Lord Latimer, to Wife; for the Crown of her Vertue and Goodness. And all are contented.