YOUTUBE SHORTS RUINED AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF MEN! (skit) lyrics

[Skit]
(How I got rid of my bellybutton odor; step one)
This next one
(Six quick and easy life hacks to make your balls stop smelling like cheese and sewage)
Oh, yawn, I like the smell, I'm gonna keep it
Anyway, next
Hey there, tubby!
Uh, are you talking to me?
Yeah I'm talking to you, fat, stupid, retarded, lard ass!
Uh, okay
I can see your titties from a mile away, they're bigger than my mom's!
Hehe, you really mean it?
That's isn't a good thing, you pig, you have the posture of a cheeseburger!
Yeah, I guess you're kinda right
What if I told you I can changе that?
Uh, what?
Stop being a beta male and sign up for my alpha malе course! It'll teach you how to be a man!
Wait, so you're sitting here telling me that I could be a big, strong man if I wanted to?
You're so fat that it's blocking your eardrums! Yes, that's what I said!
What about my crippling lung condition?
(f*ck it!)
Oh, cool. Here's my credit card information
Got it, thanks Munchkin Pooh-Bear Sweetie Pie! For our first exercise, I'm gonna have you repeat one thing after me! "I hate trans women, because they might trick me into having sex with them, and due to my horrible porn addiction, I have the urge to have intercourse with any woman who offers the love and affection my mommy refused to give me!" Okay, your turn!
That was a lot to remember, uh—
Just say it!
Uh, okay, I'll give it my best try
I hate trans women. (Trans women)
Because they might... ('Cause they might)
Uh— (Trick me into having—, ah! You're useless! Disgusting pig!)
Aw, I'm sorry, daddy, I wish I could be better
Oh, you can be better. Just join my Discord! We're in there every night, from eight O'clock, to 3 A.M.! We practice butthole tightening, and semen retention training ninety-three hours every week!
Yeah, I spend that time playing Overwatch. I can totally make room for that
That's exactly what I want to hear, my youngling. I trust that I'll see you there tomorrow at 8 A.M. sharp, on the dot! If you're not there by then, you're kicked out of all classes, and I'm taking your money, kapisch?
Uh, yeah, yeah
Huh, what was that? I can't hear you!
Yeah, yeah! Um, of course I'll be there! Yeah, I'll be there
I'll make sure to be there. (Alright, alright, I'll see you tomorrow then.)
S-see you
And remember, this is America. Do not disappoint me!
Uh, okay, uh. Uh, oh, alright. Uh, that was a lot, I'm gonna go beat off