L.A.S.M. lyrics

by

Q-Tip


L.I. - LASM Interviewer(s)
B.S. - When I'm not sure who's talking, or Dres and Lawnge both are
M.L. - Mista Lawnge
Dres - Who else?

(Yo-Yo: "Don't try to play me out, don't try to play me out.")

L.I. - Hello. We are the hosts of L.A.S.M. Association, Ladies Against Sexist Motherf*ckers. And today our guests are Black Sheep. You both are from New York, right?
B.S. - Ah. That's true. New York. That's true. Yo
L.I. - You supposedly met in North Carolina?
B.S. - Yea, yea, yea. North Carolina. Yea. Uh huh. Yea, yea
L.I. - So what's the difference between the lifestyles you lead in New York and North Carolina?
B.S. - Trees and building. Trees and buildings
Dres - Basically, look, there was tractors, rakes, and hoes down there. Up here we just got the hoes. You know what I'm saying
B.S. - Tractors and rakes
L.I. - Dres, you seem to have a conceited personality. Do you?
Dres - Next question, please
L.I. - Ah. Well. In your album, you disrespect women by calling us hoes. Why is that?
Dres - Listen, listen, listen. Honey, "ho" is merely short for "honey." Dig? Ho is short for honey. We just got lazy and dropped the -ney
B.S. - Right. Like when you drop to yo knees. Right, right
L.I. - Wait a minute. Do you call you mother, or sister, or your grandmother a ho? (Go ahead girl)
M.L. - Basically I do. They half hoes. You know what I'm saying. That's my point
L.I. - Mista Lawnge, what do you mean by this nine point five thing?
M.L. - Could we talk about that some other time?
L.I. - But the people want to know
M.L. - Not right now
L.I. - But, but...
M.L. - Look, I said, "Later, man."
L.I. - I can dig it
M.L. - I'll bet she can... hoes all in my business...
L.I. - Hold up, hold up. All professionalism aside: Motherf*cker, where do you come off thinking you're God's gift to the world? It is dogs like you that make men look so bad! Do you really think this bullsh*t is gonna sell?
(beeper goes off)

M.L. - Well listen it's like this. Ah, I'm a very important man
Dres - Right. As you can tell
M.L. - It doesn't really matter because as long as I'm up in somebody, busting somebody's gills...
B.S. - As long as we get some pus*y, long as we get some money, we really don't give a...
L.I. - Look, I've had enough of your egotistical, chauvinistic, pimp daddy, immature, couldn't get a real woman even if you wanted to attitude!
Dres - Honey. Listen. Honey, check this out
L.I. - That's it. I can't take it any more
Dres - Honey. Listen. Honey. Listen
L.I. - This is the end of this interview. Later!
B.S. - Come on
L.I. - I said, "Later, man!"
B.S. - He can dig it

Random hood dude: I like them n*ggas. I like them n*ggas. I like them n*ggas

Announcer guy: This show was sponsored by Masinfrill douche, Maybe maxipads, and super-Eight inch tampons plus. Courtesy of...(yo mama)
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