JUMPED Part 1 lyrics

[Intro: Brendon Urie]
Can we fast-forward to go down on me?

[Chorus: LoonaGooner]
Matti just took an L, so he maddy
Might run it back, take a slap like a baddie
Hahahahahaha, I'm at him
Hahahahahaha, I'm at him
Ooh, I don't even need to try
LG is my name, spitting is my game
Crosswalk on him like it's Pooh's Adventures
That sugar effect, that boy need dentures

[Verse 1: LoonaGooner]
Ooh, I am John Cena, every time that I enter
With a cal, I see 'em, milk, R.I.P. Oreo
I feel like Klever to Cy, cuz I'm going raw on you
I know I speak Toronto, but I'm Smiley?
Not true
I'm at the top, b*tch, I'm feelin' like A1
I'ma paint Sick's toes, make her feel like art, got it droppin' like day 1
When I saw Chiaura come to me, that's the first human I ever jacked to
Might get Coppola to shoot the vid, so I can label it "Jack 2"
Yesterday I was asking why I hate guys like you, guess I'm Jack too
I'd get ReactBot on the beat, but there's no mobile Jack, dude
[Pre-Chorus: LoonaGooner]
Dropped message to Matti from Brendon Urie

[Chorus 2: LoonaGooner & Brendon Urie]
Stop there, and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste, and
Who cares? Divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on gettin' out of here

[Interlude: Black Sans]
Aw damn, LG, I think I- I think I damn caught the sh*tty boy virus

[Verse 2: Black Sans]
Productions year boy tryna play with my Wii U
I say see you, and all my friends will agree too
Ain't nobody like your begging, your whole subculture, it been my circus
I've been dropping hit after hit, while you can't even record a bit of dissin'
When you're wagin' war on Sans, you're wagin' war with Stefan
This my whole f*ckin' universe, you just own a farm
E-I-E-I-O, repeat my sh*t while I go
Take a diarrhea dump on your brain, I think I may have made it better bro
World War 3's the last thing I'm promoting on YouTube Shorts reposts
I wanna let everyone be heard, when I give them chairs and a show to host
Why don't you just press delete?
Why don't you just go be movie buddies with Mightypupsfanboy instead of targeting me?
All I hear is "erm"s and "actually"s from your banner, you freak
If you're rapping, you're only spitting on Cyraxx beats
Favorite rappers prolly the ones from ERB
When you gonna move on? When the track might be dropping
Over here roleplaying in comments, that's why you stay in fiction more than facts
You go to your parents and try to sleep with a nap, some warm milk to relax
I roll up to your damn window, hit a tap tap tap
And the whole house is Left Eye, have em BLAP BLAP BLAP
Write a letter, Stan the Third, have me read it verbatim
I'll finally let the racism in you stay overtaken
Rest of the mixtape ain't gon' mention you, these disses cheese and bacon
Quit your whole career before you end up being all mistaken
Kiwi Farms your new fans, I say "Hi there"
Beating women the only time you'll ever get care
Black Sans the king of the underground, you the sacrificial lamb
And that's the channel deletion right there with your name in the sand
[Verse 3: Uncle Steve]
Here we go now
Tell me, what you really wanna do? Come here, Ma
Talk to a n*gga, talk to me
You look like you could really give it to a n*gga
From the way you talk and the way ya try to walk for me
The way you really try to put it on a dawg
Doin' it like ya never did before for me
The way you break yo' back, and I break yo' neck
And the way you try to put it on the floor for me
(Come on!) Come on (Come on!)
Oh, yeah, tell me where my n*ggas is at (Okay!)
Lemme address y'all n*ggas one time
While I lock that down and I hit you with that
(With what?) That bomb sh*t
Y'all n*ggas know all day we be makin' it drop
Y'all n*ggas know every time I come through
This motherf*cker, where we always takin' the ride
(So let me do this, b*tch!)
Y'all n*ggas know when we come, we be makin' it flop
The way we makin' it hot'll make a n*gga wanna stop
Get money, then cash that check for me
All my n*ggas just bust yo' TEC for me
Everybody from every hood, bang yo' head
'Til you break your motherf*ckin' neck for me
[Interlude: LoonaGooner]
Wagwan, Uncle Steve, for dropping verse of the year
Now it's time for verse of the year 2

[Verse 4: LoonaGooner]
Matti boy vegan, he don't want beef
The only type he want is the ones close to Chiaura's knees
I'll forever stick with you, like I'm the Klasky Csupo compy
The mixtape will drop, this the grand finale
Go talk to your walls, instead of bracket eye rolling
KleverKid, yeah, he my GOAT, he got the best memes
Time for a Q&A, have you ever considered the STV gang is working for me?
Heard you praisin' all the rest, yet you hatin' Haydie?
Why you calling me clever, boy you should hate me?
You could've had a peaceful career, you can't fire at me
I might take your n-word text and put it in a muse-
Um, I feel like I'm Alphys, I regret making a f*cking mistake
Dancing on your grave like I heard the Drake Adidon beat
I don't know what else to tell you except I'm free for another new verse

[Interlude: Black Sans & LoonaGooner]
Aight, aight, that's good, we got a golden diss track on our hands
Ayo fr on god fam
Yeah, thanks LG, by the way, I was wondering, why do you get two verses, yet I've only gotten one
I think that seems a bit uneven, mind if I spit for a bit?
Sure man, just give the rest a chance to shine
Aight, for re-... ayo what the f*ck

[Verse 5: Coingamer]
I see you testing me
I'm part of STVs
Slay Tracks Vehemently, b*tch it's no mystery
You think you gettin' in the server, you on crystal meth
You speakin' tons but sayin' nothin', call you Napalm Death
My flow goes and glows, it's my moment
No breaks, I spit my noise, I'm Sore Throat, man
You talk and talk, you realize you're dead meat
And meanwhile, I'm killin' this sick beat
You a grown man, no, you not a zoomer
Eat you up like tuna, la vida es una, hakuna
I'm here with LoonaGooner, I feel like I'm the top
They call me a femboy, but I make that thang hop
I drop it like Oppenheimer, your mom, I get behind her
You know she love that Comedy Rop
Ah, f*ck I can't pronounce it, but you get the point
And while we're at it, let's keep track of the points
It's 1 and it's 0, my points are 1 like NEMO!
I stall on you like Horse with DEVO, like Benzino you are nobody, b*tch
I fly and you stench
I levitate over you like Trench, call it french flies
Go get some exercise, cut down the extra fries
You say slurs like Blur, you f*ckin' pork life
You actin' like a gorilla, suck my noodle
'Cause you's a b*tch like poodle, this digs into your mood
Like it's clipping, b*tch

[Interlude: Black Sans]
Alright... are we done here?
Can I finally rap for once?
...Okay
Matti, go and f*ckin' leave

[Verse 6: greg]
Yo, it's me, Greg
I'm doing a verse
But it's gonna be the worst
Call me Weezer, cuz I be just like Buddy Holly in this place
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Well, they don't really need to rhyme now
It's not really the time now
So so so yeah
So so so yeah
I'm kinda just gregging and gregging and gregging
Call me greg, yeah, because
You're gregnane
Oh yeah
DarkHorse, you say neigh
But you're not DarkHorse, you're way worse
You think you're DarkHorse but you're not
Yeah yeah yeah
I don't really know what to say so we'll look at Rivers Cuomo
I don't know

[Interlude: Black Sans]
'Kay, o-okay! Okay
Jee-, I was meant to have the fourth f*cking verse on this song!
And now I'm being designated to the f*cking seventh?
Okay!
Matti, you-
Holy f*ck, is that "Weird Al" Yankovic?

[Verse 7: "Weird Al" Yankovic]
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free (Would you look at all that stuff)
They've got Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circ*mcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

[Interlude: Isabella Dementia/Bianca Selgram/Harper Daxon/Black Sans]
Like genuinely, do you see this sh*t?
Mhm, yep
People are still listening to this song and it's been 9 minutes
I mean Black Sans DID say he wanted to make this the perfect diss track
Yeah, I guess you're right
Hold up sorry, Discord call
Ayo, how are my perfect group of unwilling participants doing?
I mean... kinda good, heard the mixtape's going good, right?
Hell yeah, but listen, I have an issue
You see, I think LoonaGooner invited way too many participants onto this omega diss
Like we got Timmy Turner, specifically from Desiigner's song here
We got Black John Kramer offering free apprentice applications, and he wants to do a verse too
We got Gangsta Mario AND Gangsta Sonic in the same room for the first time in years
Man, I remember the last time I saw them in a rap battle, it was heated as sh*t, bro, check it out

[Intro: Announcer]
Cartoon Rap Battles
Mario
Versus
Sonic
Begin

[Verse 8: Mario]
Okay, hold up
A hedgehog that does cardio?
Please take a seat cause it's me Mario
Your face looks like you got hit by a truck
No one plays your games cause they know that they suck
By the way where is Luigi? Oh, there he is!
The fact you even have a fanbase is hilarious
Look at me, I'm dropping words of certainty
Your brain is so small, it's the size of a bumblebee
Please don't try to step to me, I'll win this battle easily
Never try to beef with me
I'll K.O. you breezily
My games are like the grass
It's always greener
I never placed last cause I'm the winner

[Verse 9: Sonic]
Win against me? You must be insane
You're jealous, cause all your games are lame
Try to catch up to me, you're way too slow
You eat mushrooms daily, but still can't grow?
I can outrun you on your best day with my dash
When will you realize Nintendo milks you for cash
Even your mother can tell you that you're trash
I'll reduce you to ash and rip off your mustache

[Verse 10: Mario]
Who are you insulting? Have you gone insane?
I own this rap battle, this is my domain
By the way, who are you calling a sellout?
Sonic the Hedgehog is always trying to steal my clout
I'll teach you a lesson so here is a taste
You're so ugly, your fans are to fix your face
This is true, so swallow the pill
I'd run you over, but you're already roadkill

[Verse 11: Sonic]
Oh well, I guess the ball is in my court
You're going downhill, someone call tech support
With any amount of skill, anyone can play you
Your nose is so big, do you have the flu?
Sonic rules the world, everything is mine
Mario so greedy, you should pay a fine
You suck the fun out of games like a leech
Later, I'm going to go dance with Princess Peach

[Interlude: Announcer/Mario/Sonic]
Wow, that was a great round
Before we go on to round two
Type down below in the comments who won
Why did you say that about Princess Peach?
You don't even know who she is
You are very lucky, because we are in public
Otherwise I teach a lesson about respect with my fists
I've been cleaning out the trash for years now and I'll sweep the floor with you
Once we hit the second round, it's over for you
Who are you kidding?
You're all washed up, Mario
Both you and Luigi couldn't beat me on your best days
I've got a plan for round two so beware, you clown
The amount of tricks I've got up my sleeves will leave you shocked
What sleeves? You're not even wearing a shirt
Listen, I've been brushing up on my rhymes, but I'm not a rapper though
You don't need to rhyme when you rap
Rapping comes from within
It's not about sounding fancy or using words you read out of a dictionary, Sonic
Okay then, let's have a race right now
Whoever wins the race can win the cartoon rap battle without going on to the second round
Don't get all shy on me now, I know that if I asked you to do a jumping challenge, you would hop on it right away
No pun intended
You are working on my nerves
Do you even know who you're talking to?
I am Mario
I am an icon living
So Sonic, are they ever going to fix your face for the movie?
I heard about all the commotion that happened and I can't help but feel bad
Don't feel bad, my fans only wanted me to get plastic surgery because they loved me
I like to look at things in a positive light
I'm just glad that people even care in the first place
Could you imagine being a character who just gets ignored by the world
Besides things could be much, much worse
Yeah, at least you're human like the rest of us
Okay, boys, let's wrap things up
No pun intended
The second round is right around the corner
Prepare yourselves
Today, you've been given a chance to show your fanbase what you've got
By eliminating your opponent in a lyrical battle
Many have tried to win the cartoon rap battles in the past
But have failed due to being either too confident or being too weak
A balance is needed to win these things
Your rapping skills must be perfectly balanced
Hey, you're starting to sound like Thanos
Could you imagine if Thanos had a cartoon rap battle?
That would be hilarious
Yeah, what if Thanos went against the Avengers?
That would be wild
Too bad that will never happen

[Intro: Announcer]
Thanos
Versus
The Avengers
Let the cartoon rap battle begin

[Verse 12: Black Thanos]
You all failed, so you came back to me
I'm gonna snap the Avengers, like I did to the neck of Loki
Once I win this rap battle, I'll get the throne
Captain Marvel, you have as much personality as a stone
Thor, Iron Man, Rogers, all garbage on my list
I'm glad I made half of humanity cease to exist
Since I snapped, no more children need to be fed
By the way, Thor, you should've just gone for my head

[Verse 13: Steve Rogers/Captain America]
I'll make sure that you get a good butt kicking for that and pay
You could swing at the Avengers, but I can do this all day
Once I'm done with you, you're gonna need a bandage
Okay team, let's go get this son of a-

[Verse 14: Tony Stark/Iron Man]
Language!
We won't lose again, this time we've got a plan
How low can you get, dude?
You took out Spider-Man
You love no one and no one loves you
Now, here's a lesson in the art of kung-fu
Your rap was as ugly as your chin
Lines so weak they belong in the trash bin

[Verse 15: Thor]
You're evil, disgusting and filled with loads of strife
The only thing more pathetic would be your love life
You need a doctor? Go schedule an appointment
Then ask "what's the cure for ugly?", the mortals call it ointment
I am the son of Odin, powerful with prestige and glamour
I think your face would look better once it's been crushed by my hammer

[Interlude: Announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen
Mario vs. Sonic

[Verse 16: Mario]
Roses are red and violets are blue
You're a disgrace to the Sega crew
You are not part of the group
So watered down, I'll slurp you like soup
Ice on my shoes, wrist waters on my neck
Nice brother choose his daughter then I left
Revelation has it you're as fast as a snail
Your gimmick is running, way to be stale Mario vs. Sonic, you'll need some tonic
I will just frolic, my rhymes are harmonic
I won this battle, so please take note
Can someone please pass the remote

[Verse 17: Sonic]
Your second round was worse than your first
I'm already roasting you with the first verse
Okay, I'll stop talking about running
You're still relevant, now that is stunning
I wish Tails was here to help me win
Oh well, my power comes from within
Your words mean nothing, I have thick skin
Just like your video games, you belong in the bin

[Verse 18: Mario]
I am Mario
I am the best at rapping
I am sorry, bro
You're the next at lapping
Three quarters of my skill can be lent to you
Use it wisely, oh wait, you have no clue
Roasting you is just a big hassle
I'll lock you away in Bowser's Castle
Try to jump and you will fall
I got to go and take Princess Peach's call

[Verse 19: Sonic]
Come on, man, you're not even trying
Where's Tails? Cuz imma go flying
I'm pretty sure I can do this all day
When Mario shows up, no one wants to play
You still want to fight, then throw the first shove
I see you copied my size, style and glove
I'm like the sun, I shine in the summer
I may be a hedgehog, but at least I'm not a plumber

[Interlude: Mario/Sonic]
You know what?, You're not that bad, Sonic
Same to you, Mario
Hey, sorry about the stuff I said earlier, I didn't really mean all that stuff
Oh no, no, don't apologize
It was funny, I was just acting tough
I didn't want to let my fans down, they've supported me all these years
I have a suggestion after the show, let's travel to each other's worlds
I wouldn't mind joining you on an adventure
From the sound of it, your world seems wild
Of course, we can save the princess and go on a journey of a lifetime
Friends?
Friends!

[Interlude: Black Sans/Isabella Dementia/Jeff the Killer/LoonaGooner/Banban]
So yeah, if you can come over here and get all these bast*rds out, that'd be amazing
Sure, we'll be there in, uh, 20 minutes roughly
No, Jeff the Killer, you cannot Jeff the Kill me in front of everyone at this party
Yes, I know I have girls coming around, but no, you cannot Jeff the Kill any of them either
So... is this what you asked for?
Absolutely not, I thought this label was just you and me, what's with all these other f*ckas?
I thought you'd appreciate the idea of getting way more people to diss Matti
Yeah, like the STV crew and all that, not f*cking serial killers and jesters!
Look, just be glad I was able to bring so many people together for this
I'm not DJ Kay Slay, I'm Black Sans, do you think I can babysit all these guys?
Ayo bro, do you got some of that good kush here?
No, but we do have the mythical perc 60 in the Dr. Perky
Seriously, like who are half of these guys?
Well, we got Tyler, The Creator, Anuel AA, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Ski Mask The Slump God, Eminem, Central Cee, Yuno Miles
Wait, huh, excuse me?

[Verse 20: Eminem]
I left my legacy hurt? f*ckin' absurd
Like a shepherd havin' sex with his sheep, f*ck what you heard
All this talk in my ear, I got a idea
Like the clerk when you tryna buy beer (ID ya)
Since on the mic, I'm a nightmare
f*ck it, I thought this might be a good time to put woke me to rockabye
I got the bottle of NyQuil right here (Right here)
You want the sleep me to wake, you want Slim Shady EP
That's on the CD cover, sockin' my mirror (Sockin' my mirror)
I promise not to cry crocodile tears (Crocodile tears)
If you end up shocked at my lyrics (Shocked at my lyrics)
Marshall is dead in the water, but not that I care
Dre said, "Rock the boat" and the Doc is my peer
So, it's unanimous, you're at attention, the planet's listenin'
And their banana splits again, which has its advantages
But when you got nothing to say except for the hand your di*k is in
And if your plan's to stick it in Janice di*kinson
Imagine if the Temazepam is kickin' in, it's havin' you panic-stricken
You're trippin' off of tryptophan and tripped a fan in Switzerland
Just for askin' to autograph a picture
Then ripped it in half and whipped it at him
And kicked his ass all the way back to Michigan
But no matter how many rounds or if I get knocked down
In a bout and fell to the ground
I got a fighter's mentality, I'll get back up and fight with it
In fact, I'ma attackin' the mic with it
I'll make it sound (Sound), sound like a vampire's bitin' it (Bitin' it)
But I'd have to be Dracula's sidekick (Sidekick)
To be down for the count (Haha), yeah
Yo, album's (What?), out (Yeah), now (Uh)
Pow (Pow), wow (Woo), I don't (Huh), see no (Uh) clouds (Nah)
But ain't gon' (No) be no (Huh) drought (Uh-uh)
Smile (No), frown (Yeah), upside (Ah) down (Ya)
Shut my (Nope) mouth (Yeah), how? (How)
That ain't what (What) I'm 'bout
Shout (Shout), showers (f*ck it, ow, ow)
Thuggin', thug it out (Ow), 'cause

[Verse 21: Kendrick Lamar]
b*tch, where you when I was walkin'?
Now I run the game, got the whole world talkin'
King Kunta, everybody wanna cut the legs off him
Kunta, black man taking no losses, oh yeah
b*tch, where you when I was walkin'?
Now I run the game, got the whole world talkin'
King Kunta, everybody wanna cut the legs off him
You goat-mouth mammyf*cker
I was gonna kill a couple rappers, but they did it to themselves
Everybody's suicidal, they ain't even need my help
This sh*t is elementary, I'll probably go to jail
If I shoot at your identity and bounce to the left
Stuck a flag in my city, everybody's screamin', "Compton!"
I should probably run for mayor when I'm done, to be honest
And I put that on my momma and my baby boo too
Twenty million walkin' out the court buildin', woo-woo!
Aw, yeah, f*ck the judge
I made it past twenty-five, and there I was
A little nappy-headed n*gga with the world behind him
Life ain't sh*t but a fat vagina
Screamin', "Annie, are you okay? Annie, are you okay?"
Limo tinted with the gold plates
Straight from the bottom, this the belly of the beast
From a peasant to a prince to a motherf*ckin' king (Oh yeah)

[Chorus: Little Mix & Kendrick Lamar]
From the sky, drop like confetti
All eyes on me (b*tch, where you when I was walkin')
So VIP (Now I run the game, got the whole world talkin', King Kunta)
All of my dreams (Everybody wanna cut the legs off him)
From the sky, drop like confetti (All of my dreams, woah) (Kunta, black man takin' no losses, oh yeah!)
You're missin' me (You're missin' me) (b*tch, where you when I was walkin')
I'm finally free (But I'm finally free) (Now I run the game, got the whole world talkin', King Kunta)
I got what I need (I got what I need) (Everybody wanna cut the legs off him)
So let it rain down like confetti (Oh, you got the yams? What's the yams?)
Oh, la-la-la, let it rain down
Oh, la-la-la, let it rain down
Oh, la-la-la, let it rain down
Oh, let it rain down (Oh, la-la-la, let it rain)

[Interlude: Matti/Isabella Dementia/Bianca Selgram]
Ugh, do they really think they can just make an entire 23 minute (as of right now) diss track on me?
Don't they know that the hard R was an acronym, miniscule simpletons
If I could reach them, somehow... in some way... I'd at the very least say sorry for being a nuisance
Wait, who the f*ck are these guys?
Alright, targets are aplenty, let's see if we can f*ck this up?
Can't we do this in a less violent way?
No...
I'll do the business, you both just try to blend in

Attention, Tumblr crossover
All Black Sans asks of you is to leave, or be burned
...This is the 22nd verse by the way

[Verse 22: Isabella Dementia]
Stop your yapping
This sh*t's active
Might leave you empty with channels with zero action
Black Sans, LG, PD, classic
Bled on LiveLeak, Plagued Moth mash that
And soon as this sh*t gets started, yes
I might turn around and turn this sh*t to Project X
Caught you biting my flow, that's like Reshiram to Justin
RPG, the way I grind and my guts spin
This the AO3 for the KOD
Klutz of Darkness and lolcows, they on me
Might try to finish up, it's somehow still active
The ritual of now is probably going ass backwards
Guns drawn, slang me, claim I'm crazy
Don't ever phase me, my ass is on your labia
I'ma write a line about how everyone should be out
I may be grey, b*tch you're dragging me down

[Interlude: Black Sans/LoonaGooner]
Alright, that clearly isn't working, seems like the other girls are just chatting it up so... we can just do our own thing, lay back and wait for this to all roll over...
Yeah sure

[Interlude: Matti/Packgod/Bianca Selgram]
Y'all really think you're better off without me?
I'll make you wish I was back, just wait and see
If only Packgod were here to help me against this furry b*tch
Hello, it's me, Packgod... *cough*
Oh wow, a Discord call? For me! Who could it be?
AYO FURRY, IT'S ME PACKGOD
A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME YOU SAID SOMETHING BAD ABOUT PHONK
I'MA NEED TO SHOW YOU SOME STUFF THAT YOU COULD ONLY FIND ON R/BASED
CERTIFIED PACKGOD MOMENT

[Verse 23: Packgod]
AYO SHUT YO SKIN TONE CHICKEN BONE GOOGLE CHROME NO HOME FLIP PHONE DISOWNED ICE CREAM CONE GARDEN GNOME EXTRA CHROMOSOME METRONOME DIMMADOME GENOME FULL BLOWN MONOCHROME STUDENT LOAN INDIANA JONES OVERGROWN FLINTSTONE X AND Y HORMONE FRIENDZONE SYLVESTER STALLONE SIERRA LEONE AUTOZONE PROFESSIONALLY SEEN SILVER PATRONE CHING CHONG LIN LONG SUCK MY DING DONG HEADASS REMOTE CONTROL AUTISM DOWN SYNDROME STAGE FOUR TERMINAL BRAIN CANCER O'RILEY AUTOPARTS SILVER BRONZE ASH AMINO UV LIGHT PEN SUSHI RAM RAMEN HARISSON FORD GAMER b*tch ASS VIRGIN LAMP THERMOMETER LEAN MEAN STRING BEAN CHARLIE SHEEN LIMOUSINE CANTEEN TRAMPOLINE SERPENTINE ANTI HISTAMINE WOLVERINE SUBMARINE UNCLEAN NECTARINE BROKEN GENE HALLOWEEN DETECTIVE SPLEEN SMOKE SCREEN JAMES DEAN PUTTING GREEN TINY PEEN ANTI VACCINE AQUAMARINE EUGENE EXTRA GREEN NICOTINE VASELINE JELLY BEAN MAGAZINE PROTEIN LIGHTNING MCQUEEN VENDING MACHINE WHAT'CHU MEAN OCEAN MAN BY WEEN HEAD ASS TF UP b*tch

[Interlude: Packgod/Matti/LoonaGooner/Black Sans]
So do I get paid?
No
God damn, you really think this diss thing is the best idea when he's that lonely
He has 2.5k subs or some sh*t, that's where you draw the line?
Yeah, but what if he does something drastic about this whole thing
He can't even handle burnt bridges, you think he can handle 25 minutes of disses? Besides I've done worse up there in Chicago, I remember those days
But we have to find a way to stop all of this, this could lead to some incomprehensible bullsh*t we'd have no clue about
*sigh* Fine, as long as it gets these freaks out of my sight
Dattebayo!
Alright, remember how to do this, do this like Kanye did to Drake in 2021
What? Inform him of Larry Hoover?
Yes...

[Verse 24: Black Sans/LoonaGooner/Evil]
Matti boy, what's going on? I know what you did was wrong
But maybe just as long as you belong to your own, we'll be all gone
Is that blood on the concrete, must've sent someone to God
I've got a spray, you know smells nice when you actually-
STOP!
Who the f*ck are you? She kinda a baddie too
I'm the root of all evil, step away 'fore I batter you
Matti's gone now, he gave himself all up to me
Sacrificial lamb, a small-town ram, and I'ma chow on all the meat
Well, we have no beef with you specific
LG's the homie I live with
So if you allow us to be good, we won't bother you further...
Nah
Revival after five years, gore's my f*cking fetish, dude
Enslave you then make you view every sin with some previews
Pibbying, glitchying, makin' you burn from the sunshine
It's you, your friends, your family, then your entire f*cking bloodline
Watch me move the crowd, your screams, yeah, they'll be loud
Stefan, when was the last time you've ever been f*ckin' proud
Of your music since you fell and took the game
Now all you got's a harem cause you couldn't get some jumped babes
Cruentus corpus
Carorum pereunt
Ego got ultimo verba
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Jesus christ, okay, we'll get away from your f*ckin' zone
Holy sh*t, is that Matti's f*cking flesh and bones
Erm, we're out of here
[Scooby-Doo running sound]
HEY! DUMB sh*tS! GET BACK HERE!

[Interlude: Black Sans/Hellbent]
This is bad, real bad
Now we have someone hellbent on killing anyone in their way for no other reason than for fun and we have to find some way to stop it
...Say that again?

[Verse 25: Dolan]
(Planet Dolan)
Caught ya lackin' in the SpindleHorse function
Catch this truth and let it screw, like it's f*cked up production
This a 30v1, biggest bands since BROCKHAMPTON
Your tomfoolery, this draco I'm slangin', I be extend-

[Verse 26: Hellbent]
Hi, I'm the Reddit story topper, the demon show stopper
Got my name on this win like it's the Hellbentcopter
You f*cked latin with some trap sounds, worse than reggaeton did
And by the way, I SWEAR I NEVER GROOMED A DAMN KID-

[Verse 27: Melissa Morgan]
Lock and poach, copped a joker the second this bird flew
Drop a deuce on your tube when you can't keep your f*ckin' 5 views
Yeah, honestly, I don't know who you even are
Now pass the mic over to Shima, for the educational bars

[Interlude: Logic]
Cause I'm proud to be black, but matter fact
If it was flipped around and every time somebody asked me
What it was like to be a white rapper
"What's it like to be a white rapper, Logic?"
Oh and I was just like, just never talked about it like
"Man, it's just so great being a white rapper
White, white, white, white everything
White man—being white's so great—wow it's so great"
And then some brother was like, "Ayy, ain't yo daddy black?!"
And I was like "Oh sh*t!"
And the whole world be like "What, are you scared to be black?
Are you ashamed to be black?! Motherf*cker, f*ck you!
f*ck you, you piece of sh*t, mixed, biracial, f*cking c*nt"

[Verse 28: Shima Luan]
I'm here to give you the disses and all your answers
How 'bout you give me some bars to dissect, instead of cringe and cancer
Cuz logos, b*tch I started it, let me say it this way
Even with Brit dead, Luan is still bringing the propane
b*tch, you couldn't even get a top 5 verse on the track
Had to combat with some lore drops, like you're Mat without Pat
Here's to BS, LG and Coin, Greg, Weird Al and Mario
Sonic, Thanos, CA, RDJ, Thor, Slim and Kendrick Lamar
Little Mix and Izzy D, PACKGOD and Dolan, up to par
Notice how I never mentioned you, cuz you ain't have no bars
Like there's no handlebars, disappear without a cause
Think that you can stab when your whole audience is set back far?
Bet if the rest were here, we'd have a whole field day
Punk Darlink for that prime sh*t, treat like Matti tryna f*ckin' stay
You wanna join a new crew, I'll give you one you deserve
When I throw you to the bloods and leave your face on burnt shirts
Plushphiles and degens the only one who defending your tantrums
And I thought that I was the one who was held for ransom
[Chaos]

[Interlude: LoonaGooner/Evil]
AH GOD, THEY'RE ALL f*ckING DEAD
Look at you, foolish, everyone you know will be jumped
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
Can you shut up and let me do my job?
I DON'T CARE, JUST STOP THIS AT ONCE
I swear to god I'll hurt you
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
Haydie, go at 'em

[Verse 29: Haydiebobotv]
I don't grab microphones, I grab weapons and fire
Better watch the f*ck out, I'm buckwild and f*cking hardwired
This ain't no f*cking battle, I can handle all the cattle
That your ass could wish for, you pass as your lungs drown in molasses
I'll make your f*cking parents infertile, make your siblings curtal
Your attention span's as fast as a f*ckass turtle
Make you an orphan without a f*cking orphanage
Like a f*cking sheep or a cow without a motherf*cking curtilage
Put you in the f*cking streets and treat you like the streets
Cut off your family's feet and serve them to restaurants like meat
f*ck being careful, I wanna see you despairful
I'm going controversial, murdering b*tches in the rehearsal
Get you sleep depraved as you witness my sh*t photoengraved
Your f*cking liver I crave and your father enslaved, I'm gonna stay
Somewhere, my human software puts a faggot in despair
I declare as I'm aware in fresh air that this is f*cking solitaire
So listen up, I'm the martyr who's ready for murder
Your life is getting shorter, the absorber's getting further
I hold no quarter to nobody who ain't even a quarter
Of my level, I just watch them suffer in kwashiorkor
I rape and maim faggots who stray in my motherf*cking way
Following the same routine like it ain't another day
I'm taking all the space, I'm motherf*cking gluttonous
Presumptuousness is my motto for my doubled doubleness
Don't expect no apology, b*tch, I'm too erect
Reject your retrospect and infect with your own defect
Disconnect the imperfect and intersect from incorrect
You're just too f*cking soft-brained to realise how bad you've lost your own way

[Verse 30: Evil]
Tried to stop the creation of online hate
You must be insane, I'm far beyond
Your comprehension in terms of greatness
I'm a top tier level, further and above
Wish that we could bring it back to the good ol' days
When Big Chungus was peak humor
Like Chiaura's coochie is peak sooper
And the bar was set high, like a weed smoonker
I'm the Linkara of hip-hop, the sh*t I say is all real
Soon as KayBee loses their way then they'll feel the way I feel
Hit Tigggger with the trigger and leave Coin f*ckin' spent
All while you become the bonemeal while I spend cash on fent
I'm gon' slit your f*ckin' throats, I will hang you like a coat
If you're dropping your next project, better get me in the booklet
If I'm not lined all in ink, then I'll let you vore 10 bullets
I will throw your whole sh*t off, with your ribs, I play hopscotch
She like Evil, I like vodka, so I said your di*k teeny and send her some scotch
I will shoot you as you run, in your ass, I will c*m
This was Black Sans and now his ass will be fully f*ckin' jumped

[Interlude: Black Sans/Lil Mabu]
Wait, what?-
Get it, cuz blue and red equals purple, so I blew her back out and I left her on red, don't let that go over your head

[Verse 31: Oreo]
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs
In the corner of the basement of the house
Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Daww, big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single morning
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "It's good for you"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large albino women
With excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ah
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"Who is it?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time
That a little ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little something like this
Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, aah, aah
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated wiener dog
And as luck would have it
That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a calligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
I hate sauerkraut
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandary
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"Querque" (querque)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque