Unanymous vs Shuffle T lyrics

[Round 1: Shuffle T]
Your crowd reaction game has dropped
You wouldn't see Locksmyth pouring his glass today if half his mates just passed away
The difference from where you were and are now is becoming quite clear
You used to make the crowd go wild and have a 100 guys cheer
Now when you rap there's really only one thing I hear

[Marlo]
"What's he on about?"

[Shuffle T]
"Mate I have no f*cking idea."
It's like he comes out swinging with a couple bars
Can't control his f*cking arms
Get angry, doesn't laugh, gets back home; bubble bath!
So just be yourself man, in the real world you're a cool dude and socially pretty nice
Then start rapping turn into the biggest twat known at the flick of light
He's like the magician chose you to go and be hypnotized
Cause you get on stage and turn into a totally different guy
And I know that that isn't right
I mean, when you battled Gemin1
You said you'd stick a pyramid...in his ribs
That's a talent mate
Why do you say this kind of sh*t when you hit the battle rapping stage?
What? You're gonna fly to Egypt and get one and bring it back for that display?
Forget the strength you need do you know how much f*cking planning that would take?
You're gonna be at the airport, trying to get your luggage checking done
"How much does your bag weight sir?"
"Two and a half million f*cking metric tons"
Does anyone remember when Gemin1 asked if he hit his missus?
And he went, "...didn't beat her up."
That's comforting
So casual about it like he's so f*cking bored
"Didn't beat her up." Do you think that would hold up in court?
Judge like, "Did you tap this woman we've got to know."
"Didn't beat her up."
"Fair enough mate then off you go."
She comes home late and you flat upper cut her
I discovered it when I followed his twat undercover
Had to take her out after and act like I love her
And that's why I f*cked yo' b*tch you fat mothaf*cka
(This is what weeds look like)
And stop hitting women Tommy, most of 'em prefer when you can be gentle
I mean some of them like it but stay away from them they're usually mental
Nerds I've thought the idea of him in a relationship
I mean ladies think you're taking him back to meet the parents
He storms in half drunk
Soon as your dad sees him he's hauling his ass up
Cause he's got all angry and called him a "daft c*nt" on Twitter everyday for four and a half months
He makes a cake to make it better
But your cakes would be rubbish no one wants that sh*t in here
The sponge would be as dry as you are and the message would in insincere
If your baking is like your battling then I think it's crystal clear
You'd spend years working on it but only make the middle tier
[Round 1: Unanymous]
Like you said, with me, every paragraph like a religious passage
So if I batter women that would mean that as sh*t happens
Your ribs get shattered cause according to the Bible that's where we'll find the b*tch in Adam
Now when I first saw him and Mar', I thought "they're magic"
But when saw in half I was playing the magician part
They're like, "How's he do it?"
Put that b*tch in a box and not spill a single drop as he splits that sh*t to parts
Now I feel like I'm breaking the code of magic; picking a trick apart
Eurgh was like, "Shuffle?" I said, "Pick a card."
He can pick which way he gets picked apart
Palm or knuckle, first round, first minute I'ma Ali shuffle
That's how I'll leave Shuffle
I could've beat Shuffle if I came here listing off Egyptian monuments
I'll pick up cinder blocks and bricks and drop that pyramid on top of him
The whole lot, will make him looking like Sphinx when I crack this cat's nose off
But, hold up
Cause you know what?
They didn't just pay to see Unan' spit the same verse
Let's talk about some of the sh*t he'll do and say first
He'll probably start off each round with some mediocre set up
Followed by a snide-y flip
Implying it, all of my passion is just some childish sh*t
Then he'll proceed to throw my personal life in it
And then throughout three rounds try downplaying me like he thinks my style is sh*t
But what you'll find is this
I don't need a stylist
Plus how can he break down my style if my style is more stylish?
This is a rap battle and you're not a rapper, you're a multi-sayer
You have an alphabetized journal of multis, you're the multi savior
Picture Shuffle in the club, approaching total strangers
Like, "Hi, do you wanna play my multi's game? It's multi player."
sh*t, I heard in Canada you stumbled into a bunch of thug
Talking 'bout how they let that Llama spray
One was like, "Yo fam', you ever had the biscuit jam?"
And you were like, "Yes, but I much prefer marmalade."
You are f*cking obsessed
You dissed 100 Bulletz cause he ditched a clash to take his family to Disneyland
I also could not see why he would switch his plans
Maybe it's cause he's a dad
Where would you take your kids Shuffle T? f*cking Brixton Jamm?
Don't get it twisted, Shuffle Twist
In this sh*t, you can spit a pretty vindictive verse
But the difference is that I like to spit to a rhythm first
This sh*t's been in my genes since my birth
Ain't just something I learned watching Arkaic spit with Eur'
Like you, brittle little hip hop nerd
Introverted introvert
Type to ditch your bird cause you're busy twisting words like his signature
What happened to that last chick you used to bring to events?
What happened to that moose did you dump her?
Either way; good
Cause her tight little inverted booty looked like she could've used that butt for Hoover suction
Face had a gruesome structure
But look at him looking at me like, "I'm not even with her anymore so that angle is useless brother."
Hahaha you still used to f*ck her
She might give you a little bit of stick for me saying that
And you don't really need it
If beauty's only skin deep but what happens when there's disfigurements to the bones underneath it?
So go ahead, break down my aggressiveness
Like really, you're not obsessed with it
Usually, all it takes is a few jars and he's impersonating his favorite Americans
Cause when it comes to being an impressionist, you wrote the blueprints
After a few lager sips he's Charlie Clips, chokes included
After a little E&J, he's DNA, and I know he's toothless
But his impression is spot on, go on do it
So which serious rapper are you mocking next?
Like really it ain't their style that you want to rep
After a few bottles of beer he's dropping his Cortez impression
Dropping an N-Bomb like he's got Tourette's
It's funny, Brooklyn comes out the kid when you mix Posh with Becks
They thought I fell off, hell no
I ain't even broke the mold yet
No sweat, after Sunburn he's gonna need his mole's checked
Time
[Round 2: Shuffle T]
I don't believe a lot of the sh*t that you're saying
Talk sh*t about my multi game it's f*cking amazing
You quit drinking a little while ago and wouldn't stop going on about it which comes as quite smug
"I'm sick of seeing these guys every other night drunk"
So f*cking self righteous after a f*cking dry month
Now you're on your high horse, like mother like son
In fact let's talk about how your mum opium up a tube
In your house each day reopening up a wound
And I don't care if it's something someone made up to go for the W
Cause you're a battler and in this world it's totally f*cking true
To be honest I'm just jealous of your mother's addictive streak
It must make present buying such a lovely and simple feat
I mean she sees she's got a couple of gifts under the Christmas tree
Like, "Ooh, it's needle shaped. I wonder what this could be."
Chasing the same dragons you rap about with your Muggles and wizardry
Slamming that sh*t down until she has muscular dystrophy
She blew every dealer from London to Plymouth Beach
All that green, white and brown gave her a colorful history
So ladies, overweight woman beater, who's mother does serious drugs
I f*cking know right, husband material much?
You know what I hate about you?
I hate the face you make when someone calls you out in a battle and you become an overly smiley twat
Someone's like, "And Unan's a c*nt" and he's like "Hahaha! Totally fine with that."
He's always going on about swag, it's a bad attitude
You wouldn't be owning swag with a holding bag of stolen cash from the bank with you
You just don't have that attribute
I mean I'm a posh f*cking c*nt and I can fake better swag than you
For examp':
I'm so smooth, don't you know? T on point like a Toblerone
Barry White's vocal coach, 2 F.L.Y. that's my postal code
I could dosey doe on a broken toe, this ain't my first rodeo
I'm so laid back I'm comatose like your mother post overdose
I'll turn up to your house just hollering "YOLO"
Jump through the window as I hop on a Pogo
Beat you down cause you don't honor the bro code
Tell him Marv', aw f*ck I forgot this was solo
He acts all swagged out and tough but in reality he is shook
Cause he can't actually summon sh*t from his magical demon books
Your achievements in battling, this how I'll imagine seeing it put
You're the closest you get to good without actually being good
I mean you're a f*cking farmer and even your cattle thinks that you should go
Your cows talk about you until you come home
I'll finish this round by saying since you casually shaved your head up when you rap
You're literally look like the angriest baby ever
[Round 2: Unanymous]
Bro, I will lyrically hit you with a lyrical punch
And I will lyrically shoot you with a lyrical gun
You know why? Cause I think they're fun
Say sh*t like, "Hit my plug for that slab of cocoa
Told him I need that food on point like a lamb samosa
So much style in my execution they're calling me a fashion god
It's that expensive heat that you don't get for free, I tailor made your casket's glove
Louie print on an Uzi [?]
Weapons design to kill Kalashnikov
Everything you wore/war camp
My weapon's tents got an expensive scent and it ain't Davidoff
Some would say I'm set to be a witness to my murder
And this was over before Shuffle wrote a verse
But in my mind I'm a champion firing at random and he's just an innocent by standard getting a shot that he don't deserve
Look, when it comes to my affairs, I caught up with 'em
Realize life ain't fair, there's no doubt intense
I'm a man that's been framed like Andy Dufresne
That's why sh*t got deep when I broke out the pen
Listen, have you ever had your mother watch your most recent clash over
Then turn to you and ask like, "Why are they saying I'm smack prone?"
And you just gotta laugh it off like, "Don't worry mum cause the man's joking."
Huh? Picture it, capture that moment
It ain't technically my fault
My accuracy's off they just come with crooked angles a lot and so I lack focus like the cam's broken
Speaking of cam' though, for the record, without Marlo you have no replay value
No cause, all them relative multi's is so forced
Just so on and so forth
"I hope your home's porch get's hit by a snow storm
Just so I can laugh at the sole thoughts of you taking a blow torch to a closed door"
f*ck that, cause of you I took a cut back
Now I'm taking T out for cheap, like a second hand clothes store
I'll have blades surround T like the green on a golf course
But that's some sh*t I'll save for later because he can wait for a Gulf War
I don't give a f*ck if they get it, let it marinate
Plus I don't trust the opinions of the people that allowed this scene to over saturate
I watched average Joe's just pass and go, but you lot gas them though
Like they're game changers, and they are
Cause they downgrade the quality of the game like chip Playstations
Bunch of f*cking forum nerds
I bet glutton makes their tummies restless
And that's funny cause I ain't even started cooking yet and there's a muffin present
f*ck it, I'll eat this muffin with crumbled edges
Turn the heat up on this knob like I'm readjusting my oven settings
My last few clashes, I barely had a punch connecting
Now it's like you got spiked on prom night
The punch is straight, and Shuffle...bredren
I don't wanna hear nothing 'bout the sl*ts you're pressing
It don't mean you got a wing man or you got birds
Just cause you go hunting pheasants with your cousin Edwin
They forewarned me, don't come aggressive
Otherwise that funny c*nt will stunt your presence
Luckily I brought just the weapon to counteract them methods
You're this because of X well I'll kick your f*cking head in
Cause if anyone, ever, put any kind of heat in your face
You're retreat to your base, start jumping fences
Wearing them coats inside is the only time we see Shuffle in trenches
So don't diss me for talking about weapons
Cause you're carrying 'em too
I mean, look at them f*cking things, you could probably stab me with your shoes

[Round 3: Shuffle T]
I don't think the way you rapped in your verses is true
And you keep on changing from the person we knew
That's why you're always on Twitter in my personal view
You get 140 different characters that's perfect for you
Cause you start throwing threats about a f*cking Cronenberg Light
People fly off the handle at you like a don't disturb sign
Psychosis, Money Mitch, you should've known the first time
They don't really settle disputes from f*cking spoken word fights
Oh I take it [?]
People are always saying he's a pus*y
I'm a bigger pus*y than he could ever be
Step to me, they'll say Shuffle fled the scene
He's a bigger to me
I've backed out of fights with kids under 17, women over 70, I let the fear get to me
I'm pathetic, weak, I'ma get lucky hitting against your cheek
But I'll be running away I check to see
It's true sh*t, I've gotten a screw loose
I've lost fights to twist caps on a bottle of fruit juice
I'm not gonna attack and I'm not gonna shoot you
If I had a weapon and a gun I'd probably offer it to you
No f*cker is as awkward as me
You might see me walking the streets
Come over ask what the time is I'll fall to my knees
[?] first two nines in my pocket before you can breathe
You move funny I dump the third nine and call the police
You're not pus*y, you love swords
And yeah it's just a sudden dead lull
But what you expect? You overuse a blade it's gonna get dull
It's kind of a metaphor for where you're at
Cause you went from being the monstrosity
To the easy target everyone wants to battle but no one wants to see
I mean you are such a big name that has to cope with the fact
You've become a stepping stone that's getting slowly eroded to sand
You're on a downward spiral and there's no getting back
I mean how you gonna explain it to both of your fans
I mean you choke all the time now, in the second half when the pressure starts
These days you wanna have juice quicker than a Travel Lodge breakfast bar
Then you come back saying how ready for the next step you are
But being hungry to win isn't the same as being attention starved
"Unanimous" means "undisputed" and "given respect to"
People like Soul, Tony D, Deffinition and Tenchoo
You'll never reach that level and it would be better if you didn't pretend to
So change your name from "Unanymous" to "6-1 Split Decision Against You"
Unanymous? Unanimous what?
Unanimously disappointed every fan that you've got
Unanimously turned down for every Canada shot
Unanimously agreed that Unanymous lost
Remember champion shot?
Remember champion shot? f*ck of course you don't
You f*cking say sh*t like you don't win cause you don't write a third round
My advice is, you want to win write a f*cking third round
Everyone's sick of you trying to make excuses
The foundations you've made are just ancient ruins
You need to admit to yourself that this phase is through
And either change the blueprints or face the music
I mean, this is last chance to [?] this afternoon so listen here
I don't need a wizard beard or magician gear or assistant near to make you disappear
Found on Plymouth Pier, washed up like Richard Gere
You choke on bad material today, that's the end of his career
I'm sure there's a place for you in this world Tommy it just isn't here
You've done this the last half a decade, you can do it another 50 years
And all you're gonna reach is the middle tier of middle tier
Time

[Round 3: Unanymous]
There's something I've wanted to say since school you know
It's makes you a faggot if I can't play Yugioh
I bet you're getting worried now that Marlo's settling into a cozy relationship
And I know that it's painful to know she's his favorite
Once you're at your local alone, the coaster your only mate
As you hold it explain with your soul that you hate this chick
Cause you feel as if, Marlo is contained within a total dictatorship
Like, "If he asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I'm throwing away his engagement ring
Yo f*ck the honeymoon too. I'm who he should go on vacation with
I know just the place for it
She's never helped him to make any global acquaintances."
Your emotional state can switch just knowing that she's at home everyday him
You just lose control of your brain and start throwing your plates and sh*t
Posting up a poster of her face and throwing a blade at it
Then exploding with rage, throwing grenades at it
Then rocking back and forth in a corner like, "She won't get away with it."
But no, it's you that won't get away with it
Cause your jokes, they're amazing
But there's major faults in your flows and cadences
When you're on your own you're so basic
Without Marlo we've really noticed the space there is
To you, this is a laugh, but you try to lift my pad your wrists would snap
And your shoulders give way with it
So f*ck your jokes cause if you've got a funny bone then I'm breaking it
You bit Kid Twist so f*cking bad, you've pretty much stolen his alias
You should change your name to Orphan Black cause you're programmed to clone a Canadian
f*ck that, check this
I want to set the scene that Marlo's stagged in
He's rented out a local social club for the evening
The sherrys are flowing darling, everybody is leaning
Marlo is stood drunkenly speaking
To his uncle about his honeymoon he's booked at a couples retreat somewhere in Egypt
'Til out the corner of his cornea in the corner of the room he sees Shuffle is weeping
So he slides over like, "Ah Shuf', can you feel it?
Tonight's the night I'm cut from my freedom. Can you f*cking believe it?"
And he's like, "You know what? No! I can't f*ckING believe it
I mean, who am I gonna structure my schemes with?
You shouldn't be with her for hundreds of reasons
One of them being she's always coming between us
Talking about, 'You should give Shuffle a beating
Cause behind your back he always says you're not as funny as he is'."
Marlo quickly cuts him off cause he can see where trouble is leading like

[Marlo]
Yeah well I bloody love her Shuf' so just leave it!

I snaked him! I f*cking snaked him!

[Unanymous]
And motherf*cker I mean this
You stole Kid Twist's style down to his f*cking features
It's in your DNA, he makes up your being
That's why there's Twist in your structure like a double helix
Your rich white parents didn't think natural birth was worth their while
They just walked into a science lab and pointed at the petri dish that said "Perfect Child"
Physical traits: pearly smile
Abilities: Versatile
All they didn't see was next to music taste it said "Urban Style"
You and Marlo were born joined at the hip
Now he ain't on your side
See that's funny, cause when you're separate conjoined twins usually one of them's got to die
Time