No Friend - Aaron’s Letter lyrics


Hayley Williams

"Found these old letters from years ago
Felt it was fitting to continue this correspondence
Can’t help I’m sentimental
Thanks for talking with me today, hope this is helpful for you
I also hope Birdie is happy and healthy
And staying out of trouble to a reasonable extent

What I wrote was sort of my way of finally being able to address how it feels to have
Anyone look at you as anything but the human you are
Good and bad… For me, mostly bad
A lot of girls will come up to me before or after a show and tell me I’m perfect
Or that they want to be like me

While I realize that maybe it’s some melodramatic version of what they may truly feel
What I really hear is “You can do no wrong in my eyes”

At that point I’m not even thinking about my interaction with them anymore
My mind is just reeling
Thinking about how much my insides are complete contrast to what is being projected on to me

There were so many seemingly horrible happening last year
I just wanted to die
I didn’t even feel like what I was doing was useful anymore
We couldn’t keep ourselves healthy, let alone spread any sort of hopeful message
It felt embarrassing to be trapped inside myself and think I had a purpose
None of these things even begin to scratch the surface of faith and God and where my head was at with that reality
I had nothing else to rely on
No ego, no relationships I trusted, no hope would come easily

And these times I envisioned hope as a little pin prick of light down a long, long dark tunnel
And this time there was no tiny light – no nothing
So, I just thought about future and death
My whole life I’d been about trying to make people feel better, but I can’t even make myself feel better
It’s hard to think were about to head back out into the wild after being in a safe cocoon for nearly two years

It’s kinda hard to see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes realizing that what they see, may not even be close to the image I see myself
And I think I might actually be more afraid to let my own self down than anything else
I feel like the man in the story who saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat

12 years ago, I stood on the shore – jumped in and grabbed the coat
The river was rushing towards the waterfall
My friend stood on the shore and shouted to let go of the coat and swim towards the land
I let go of the coat, but the coat won’t let go of me
In any case, please let me know if there’s more I can give you.
If nothing comes of it, just know we are grateful"
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