The Old Saloon lyrics

[Intro]
(I'm being serious) YO!
It's the wild wild West
You came to the right place my man
Get ready, here we go
(NEW sh*t!)

[Verse]
Welcome my friends to the old saloon
Everyone in town is hangin' out
If you gotta drink well you drink it down!
Then we'll all go have sex with whores (BRAND NEW!)
I'm Buffalo Bill, I just rode into town
On my horse, you bet'cha, on my horse
That's the thing in the old West times
Everybody enjoys a good horseride
TRY TO CHEAT AT CARDS YOU'LL GET THROWN OUT
Right out the saloon door on your butt
Come back in and buy a round of whiskey
Guess what? All is forgiven! (DJ LEARY)
Flippin' the jib with Calamity Jane
And you're another guy that's probably an injun
This whiskey is warm and it tastes like p*ss
OH NO~! Mustache smells like p*ss!
So that's the story and I'm stickin' to it
The old wild West is no place for a lady
I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor
So just put that in your pipe and smoke it
(“DJ WAAAAAAAAAH”)
[Outro]
I'm Tiny Tim and it's almost Christmas
Sure is dusty here