the competent horse thief lyrics

[Verse 1]
Surprise, I'm not pretending
So committed to the bit that it made me sick
But not fatally
At least, not yet
I have cowered, I have showered
But I won't get wet

[Chorus]
I'm just a competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth
Another competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth

[Verse 2]
After
After The Fonz
After The Fonz I had no plan B to speak of
Existing
In spite of you
Yeah, I melted, then I belted
But I won't get screwed

[Chorus]
I'm just a competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth
Another competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth
[Bridge]
Wait
Wait
The horse has departed before the stable was built
It got on a train despite some barrier issues
And now it lives happily somewhere in the Cotswolds
And keeps to itself
No one would even know it was a horse

[Verse 3]
Oh, no
He's getting floaters
Who the gods would destroy
They first strike blind but it's a phase
A brief flirtation
I am puzzled, I am muzzled
But I have my pride

[Chorus]
I'm just a competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth
Another competent horse thief
Without the benefit of teeth
Ahh