Hi Mom- It’s Me!!! [live, Jam Room, 1994] lyrics

[Spoken]
JOE: Whoo!
B-FACE: Uh, hello?
JOE: Uh, hi Mom, it's me
ALSO JOE: Ahhhhhhh!

I know you think I'm just a useless, stupid punk
Because every night, I come home drunk
Hi Mom, it's me, that f*ckin' little sh*t
The ugly little monkey that used to suck your tit

I know you think my band's just a waste of time
Those beer cans you found in my room weren't mine
Hi Mom, it's me, that f*ckin' little sh*t
The ugly little monkey that used to suck your tit

You got five bucks I can borrow?