The Most Offensive Song Ever lyrics

Howdy Ho

[Verse 1: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
The Virgin Mary was sleepin'
When Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother."
And Mary thought that was weird

Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year."
But then Gabriel said to Mary
"My child, have no fear."

[Chorus]
'Cause, you can suck all the di*k you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the di*k you want
And still not be considered flawed
Although you went to town
And sucked some semen down
You're still a virgin in the eyes of God

[Verse 2: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive
But they were so very tired, you see
And Mary had to offer a bribe
Since she had no money
How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary
And told her not to weep

[Chorus]
'Cause you can suck all the di*k you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the di*k you want
And still be the mother of Christ
If there's no room at the inn
Then it's not considered a sin
To suck some di*k to get a room for the night

[Verse 3: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
Then, three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch

Mary thought she might pleasure them
But could not take them to bed
But again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said:

[Chorus]
You can suck all the di*k you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the di*k you want
Every one that hangs in the nation
Fellatio ain't no sin
Go on and blow those Three Wise Men
And you'll still be a virgin 'cause there was no penetration!
So, you can suck all the di*k you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
The donkey and the ox and the lambs
And even the little drummer boy
Folks will remember your name quick
They'll say "Damn, that b*tch could suck a good di*k!"
'Cause sucking di*k brings peace on Earth and joy

'Cause sucking di*k brings peace on Earth and joy
Mary, Mary suck that di*k