Mad Professor lyrics

[Intro: Violent J & Jamie Madrox]
*Laughs* "Oh, sh*t. He's here. Hi."
"Uh, how ya doin', uh, this the right place for that furniture? Uh."
"Yeah, it sure is. Come on in."
"Pretty nice place here you got, um, the cobwebs are a nice touch. Uh, so that's the couch, ay?"
"Yeah, we got some, um, take a look at that upholstery right there."
"It's pretty f*ckin' nice."
"That's real-" *noise*
"Oh, you doing alright there?"
"Excuse me. Real upholstery"
"I ain't seen nothin' like that since, uh, sh*t, back in the-"
*Hit* "Motherf*cker! You want my couch? You motherf*cker! I need your motherf*ckin' brain! You can't have my couch! The f*ck you thinkin'? Now come here you big, fat motherf*cker! Get on the table!"

[Verse 1: Violent J]
I was never popular, this I'll admit, f*ck school
School never liked me, cool!
All the kids would always beat me until I'm half-dead
Make fun of the size of my forehead
But that sh*t never bothered me
Mama and Mother, they owned a lot of property (Yeah)
They had a science lab in the basement
And that's where my free ti- well, all my time was spent
I made a mouse with a chicken head
It clucked three times, cluck, cluck, cluck, and then it was dead
I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck
Gobblegobblegobble, it was the sh*t (Yeah)
But I'm still lonely, I need a homie
So I collected limbs and made me a zombie
I could've made a girlie friend, but f*ck that
I got my girlie right here *Masturbation noises* yeah
[Chorus]
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] I will make a friend for me
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] We will rule eternity

[Skit: Violent J & Jamie Madrox]
"So this is, like, where you live?"
"That's right. Why? You don't like it?"
"I mean, oh my God. It's dirty. Do you like-"
*Hit* *Laughs* "Shut up, b*tch! Gimme your tippy toes."

[Verse 2: Violent J]
I used so many body parts it was crazy
I killed a whole bunch of motherf*ckers, like (What?) eighty
They all chipped in on my special friend
Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on
I hear the other children playing outside
"Keep it down, you little b*tches, I'll skin your f*ckin' hides!"
Stressful, (Uh) this part's wack (What?)
Some how I gotta attach this nut sack
sh*t! f*ck! I'm sawin' off an elbow
Looking at the meter on my Quasar Ziptalo (What?)
Or better yet look out the f*cking window
I see a storm's comin', almost time to roll
Screw the head on, come on, come on
It's the thuggish, ruggish, bone
Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert
f*ck! (sh*t!) Didn't work
[Chorus]
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] I will make a friend for me
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] We will rule eternity

[Post-Chorus]
"I am your creature, with which [?] the horror [?]. Is it me, or is it the man that made me, [?] evil [?] time. [?] the awful thing that lies waiting to kill you."

[Skit: Violent J & Jamie Madrox]
"Hey"
"Hey, you called for a wrecker?"
"Sure did. Come on in."
"Uh, I got the truck waited outside. I'ma go ahead and-"
*Hit* "Ow, motherf*cker! You- what'd you hit me with, a fryin' pan or somethin'? The f*ck, bro?"
*Hit* "You crazy motherf*cker. Ow, that still hurts."
*Hit* "Come here!"
"Man, I'ma f*ck you up, oh"
"Get back here!"
"Hey! He's trying to kill me! Uh!"
*Hit* "[?]"

[Verse 3: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
It wasn't always easy, (Hell no) let me tell ya
But f*ck that, c'ause I ain't no failure
I put the sh*t with the veins and the stuff with that
Wait a minute *fart* did you hear that? (Yeah!)
It's alive! (Woo hoo) I just gotta wake it up
Hand me that Rock 'n Rye! (Come on) Pour it in the cup
Give it to his ass, wait, hold up, pause
I ain't cleaning his drawers, man, f*ck that
Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time
Paint his ugly face up almost like mine
I see him twitching, I'm on a roll
He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival
Turn the hertz all the way up for this sh*t
And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit (Come on, come on)
Did it work? You make the call
Shaggy? What up, y'all?
[Chorus]
[(Under the direction of-)]
You can call me Mad Professor (Yeah! I'm in this b*tch!)
[(Strange as it may seem)]
I will make a friend for me (Ha ha ha ha!)
[(Under the direction of-)]
You can call me Mad Professor (What? I live!)
[(Strange as it may seem)] (I'm alive!)
We will rule eternity (I'm alive!)

[Outro]
You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] I will make a friend for me
[(Under the direction of-)] You can call me Mad Professor
[(Strange as it may seem)] We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity