I told myself this wouldn’t happen lyrics

day 25 from the last time we spoke
im sleeping, eating less to cope
unhealthy ways i said i know
but i cant help but see u more

im stuck inside a hole i thought id never be
and i cant help but see ur shadow next to me
my heart is locked only you can set it free
unfortunate, you never even found the key

i told myself it wouldnt happen
so why am i struggling to breathe?
i told myself it was a distraction
so baby tell why im on my knees

time goes by and i still rot
youre tryna be someone youre really not
and im still trying to accеpt my flaws
i accept my fault
i accept my fault
fault

its a cycle im stuck in and cant gеt out
save your tears cuz its just only just hurting now
and i know im so young but who cares at all
when you’re 15 and talk about ur mental health
its no one
its how it is
what andrew said? i hate the fact that i let u in
shes off on lsd i cant feel my lips
we’re only starting it dont get any better than this

u disappeared only thing i can think about is where did i go wrong?
it shocks me a bit that im writing about you and now ur put into a song
and i pray to god i can live without u that i do better now that ur gone
i still feel so connected with you but i cant help it but hold my tounge

“go f*ck off” thats what u said about me
here again so dont u ever doubt me
fear again dont disappoint my family
fear again dont dissapoint my family

i told myself it wouldnt happen
so why am i struggling to breathe?
i told myself it was a distraction
so baby tell me why im on my knees!

i told myself it wouldnt happen
so why am i struggling to breathe?
i told myself it was a distraction
so baby tell me why im on my knees!
time floats by and i still rot
youre trynna be someone ur really not
and im still trying to accept my flaws
i accept my fault
i accept my fault
fault