Dizaster vs. Dumbfoundead lyrics

ROUND 1

[Dumbfoundead]
First off, why the guy that valet cars dressed like Avatar?
Ten years ago we battle at a record store called "The Basement"
Ten years later you battled Cassidy... in a basement
What a whole lot of life wasted
While I was doing acting, stand-up and music as well
You were watching 8 Mile everyday mastering losing yourself
You probably think I'mma call you something like a cab driver
That's stupid as hell, it's 2015, you drive an Uber XL
I remember when Daylyt was on the same team with you
Then he got a mask tattoo on his face cause he didn't want to be seen with you
He was embarrassed that you were from his clique
Embarrassed!
This is the dude who took a public sh*t
And told Diddy he would suck his di*k
Shots fired, shots fired
I don't know when you and his friendship got sour
Was it when things got rough and you disappeared like a soft coward?
Or was it when his career charged up while yours lost power?
Or maybe is when you tried to crash a plane into the Watts Tower?
Either way, that's your marital dispute, not ours
So handle that sh*t on your off hours or dance in the ring you wallflowers
You're not from L.A., I rep the city proper
Clippers, Lakers, Dodgers
You're from Ventura County
Dentists, lawyers, doctors
Actually, you're from Thousand Oaks
A big backyard with a thousand goats, cows and sheep
Where you make wallets, wallets, wallets, towels and coats
You're not a drug dealer, you're a cow dealer
I could summarize your life without filler
In grade school, he was an outfielder
In high school, this j*rk worked as a clerk at Turban Outfitters
No pictures with girls, he missed going to Prom
Too busy rolling with his rich gang
His nickname was Rich Homie Quran
A young thug looking for a bone to pick
While I was getting stoned with chicks
He was trying to throw stones at chicks
Holy sh*t! But he did go to college
Majored in multisyllabics
Minored in calling people faggots
Took some theater classes that's why he's overly dramatic
Graduation pictures receiving diplomas from Bin Laden
When you were a kid, you always got Air Jordans
Actually you're the heir to the airline that flies to Jordan, Air Jordan
ROUND 1

[Dizaster]
For this battle I traveled all the way from the land of the rising sun
Where, instead of an alarm clock, his father woke me up every morning by banging on the side of a giant drum
So we walked into the front yard and stood together and aligned and synchronized our hums
They taught us the true story of how life begun
But, instead of a Bible, we were reading scriptures straight out from the book version of Street Fighter 1
And I'm not gonna lie y'all, it was kind of fun
Everybody give it up for my battle contender
His name is Dumbfoundead but he's also known as
Hannibal Lecter... when he's at the animal shelter
As far as your nail salons, I'm through with you
I'm sick of taking my mother there and having your mother talk sh*t about it in Korean when she polish the cuticle
Looking over to her co-worker like {Dizaster makes up Korean}
And I'm like, "What does that mean?"
And she's like "Ohoho... we say that your mama... she beautiful."
I don't give a f*ck if you guys think that I'm racist
I'm about to make an Asian dude open up the doors for me like
The Keymaker from the Matrix
Congratulations, Ninja Gaiden, your fake fight got millions of page hits
As soon as your sh*t went viral online, you called up your sensei and told him "Ninja, we made it!"
(Stop my time bro)
And you been living off that prank since and that's people are all p*ssed but how could you blame him
He's Asian, it's in his nature to try to rip people off with their fake kicks
Before this battle he told Organik "If the battle go for over three minutes, the battle isn't gonna go down."
Looking like the faggot ass kid from Indiana Jones which makes sense why you want such a Short Round
(oh yes, short round)
I don't even need race jokes, I don't need race jokes
I could demolish you with facts
The only reason King of the Dot didn't need Avi to book this match
Cause you starving and you want this just as bad
You make songs but you're always getting taxed
And you back to where you first started
Cause it's the only place where you can spit it and keep every dollar that you have
Ain't no respect and honor for a cat
Who walked around and turned his back
On the same art form that got him where he's at
You figure after all the acupuncture
You'd have a spinal column in your back
But is probably not attached cause you went to Hollywood to act
And on top of all of that your biggest accomplishment in rap
Is paying to get Waka Faka on a track
Listen, so tell me who's better, the facts very-very clear
He's like Bruce Jenner, you have a transparent career
And that's why I do race jokes, cause no one cares for your life
They want to hear stereotypes, you're such a racist Asian guy
Your favorite football player is probably Jerry Rice
Yo, look at your f*cking moon shaped, Lucy Liu face
Your di*k is like a half-used tube of tooth-paste
You got a tooth ache cause you went Ruby Tuesdays
And ordered the Scooby Doo plate
Don't get it twisted y'all, he's with this drama
Oh yeah Jin Kazama his mama is with this drama
As soon as he touched to Toronto six Chihuahuas went missing in Mississauga
Wonder why Asian people don't got love for us
It's cause we always treat them like dumb tourists
And every time they try to stand up for themselves they get beat the f*ck up by Chuck Norris
I see Organik want to cut me off and end the battle
That's cool, you cut me off fine
Cause no matter how much you try shorten my rounds
You're mother will always love me long time
ROUND 2

[Dumbfoundead]
You made your whole career out off calling yourself a terrorist
Like is anybody scared of him?
Let me give you comparisons of your usual terrorist and delusional American
They throw rocks at tanks, you like rocking tanks
They blew up the New York skyline
You blow up my timeline
They create a hostage situation
You couldn't handle a Caustic situation
You're just a spoiled prince of Arabia
Appropriating terrorist culture, Iggy Azralea
After that incident with Math
He had to battle overseas,like an athlete with bad knees
I saw that battle with that Swiss guy they gave you mad cheese
In Amsterdam they paid you in hashish
He went from Ukraine to Spain just this last week
Damn chief, you'll battle in any international backstreet
For a flat fee, you're like the real life Zangief
But the wack thing, he wasn't even on tour
He was just being a tourist
Backpacking through Europe for the backpackers in Europe
You went from King of the Dot to King Of Iraq
You went from cream of the crop to screaming "Marak"
But I did see that rap battle where you spoke in Arabic
Was that Lebanon or Qatar?
I couldn't tell if he was battling with bars
Or haggaling at a bazaar
Yo that sh*t was weak bro
Have you all seen his f*cking Tweets
He was like "Come to my thirtieth birthday
You will hear gun bars, personals and the nerdiest wordplay
It's gonna be at a mansion, we'll have drinks and battles
Let's kick it! Everything you can imagine." except b*tches
But just to research this battle, I went to go and observe
Pulled up to curb at his home in the 'burbs
I saw the Prince of Sadi coming out of a tinted Cadi'
That was your homie for sure
And then from a distance I saw three wise men
Bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh
And as I got closer I realised it was just Rone, Illmaculate and Eurgh
That sh*t was crazy though, the party was wild though
He had a petting zoo and a patio, all camels
He had a clown making balloon animals, all camels
He even had kids hitting piñatas, that were shaped like the Twin Towers and a little Obama
And he brought out even a stripper from Gaza
She was showing her wrists and ankles
And did a split on the llamas
But the weird thing was, they're throwing rocks at her instead of tipping her dollars
ROUND 2

[Dizaster]
You said some sh*t about Jafar, some sh*t about Obama
Call me all this sh*t about camels and sh*t about llamas
I'd expected more from you, some terrorist sh*t about martyrs
It's 2015 little guy, you got a chink in your armor
Listen here dumpling breath
Your mother's flatter than a f*cking desk
Getting breast-fed as a baby you must've been stressed
Your milk was gone after a couple pecks
You went "mtsou, mtsou" and there was nothing left
See I can do what you do, hit the people with the comedian feel
But f*ck that, they wanted to see a blood bath
Let the the dim sum spill
Your b*tch gonna leave here knowing how getting fistf*cked with a pair of her own nunchuks feels
He was raised in hip-hop, growing up your favorite three rappers of all time were Lil' Kim, B.I.G. and Rakim Jung Ill
You know what else rhymes with Kim Jung Ill?
You have way too many family members in Richmond Hill
Live in front of everybody, they gon' say this kid got killed
But of course they gonna say he served me over the net
Every Asian was born with incredible ping-pong skills
I'll admit y'all, I got a heavy Asian fetish
So before we go any further I'mma put the cards all out on the table... tennis
Your mother is a masseuse from Brampton
Who specializes in massage and feng shui
I never book her cause she's really a hooker
And that kind of rubs the wrong way
Your b*tch is a f*cking anime dominatrix sl*t
She came to our temple and got raped by a hundred monks
While she was getting punched in the face with uppercuts
Cause that's the only way she can bust a nut
You can't make her c*m Dumb, you should just give up
You done after a quick thrust, when Dumb hits once
It's like getting fist-f*cked by a kid giving her a single fist-pump
His b*tch calls it "the one inch punch"
You better not talk about the Math fight at all
Cause I guarantee you that's one math problem
Your nerdy ass would never like to solve
Me and you fighting is like throwing a little nine year-old in pike brawl
One right and fall, go nighty-nighty, the right hand is like Tylenol
I'll doggystyle your mama on top of the China Wall and then put my sushi roll in her booty hole because she likes it raw
Yo I'll leave this china doll with a wired jaw
I'll strike him with the eye of the tiger plus a lion paw
I'll f*cking throw a shuriken star on you out a moving car
And then drag you by with a iron claw
You ain't the type of Asian guy to throw a giant fireball
You're the type of Asian guy that I would call
If I needed help trying to install my firewall
He had a Firefox, she says "I'm a Mac now cause I evolved."
And he ain't in her lap now
Because his di*k caught a virus and is microsoft
With your little eye sockets that look like dime slots
It'd be a wild shot to squeeze an eye drop in the right spot
Without mirrors coming out the back of your head from both sides to help you see your blind spots
You're a f*cking yellow minion with a single eyeball
A f*cking North Korean cyclops
That shouldn't be allowed to leave the sidewalk
Without a seeing guide dog
And a translator that speaks his dialogue
Eat a di*k!
You little faggot trying to distract me through my sh*t
Shut up you f*cking little b*tch
Your faggot ass should be quiet
Weren't you were one of my students
I'd taught how to be a master at silence!!


ROUND 3

(- I didn't say word... you taught how to be silent sensei...
- I will Kung-Fu kick you)

[Dumbfoundead]
Yo Diz I heard you finally put out an album, bet that sh*t is mad wack
Let's see how many damn tracks
Of course no surround wrap
Parental Advisory, it may contain anthrax (What the f*ck)?

(Diz: That's okay... that's okay... I allow that)

Nah I'm playing, I'm playing
I bump that sh*t on the road
I especially like track number 4 where the hook goes:
"Rolling through Egypt with my bros"
Wait, Lush is your manager right?
(That was already a punchline)
How the f*ck do you have a manager that can't manage his life?
You take financial advice from a guy who can't pay his battlers right
But always has a bag of that white
(god damn! that's f*cked up man)
With all that f*cking crust around your nose you look thirsty
I know years ago you ordered Jin
But for me it take one shot to kill a Wild Turkey
Yours bars tender career is on the rocks
So how can your old fashion style hurt me
You rap like it's last call trynna take the bar out in a hurry
(Can I get a little something here?)
I couldn't write like how Diz writes I like to keep my sh*t tight
Let me give you an insight on what people like and dislike
You put all this extra sh*t before your punches
And it don't hit right like your last fist-fight
It's simple math, listen class
Let me teach you all about one liners
Speaking about one liners, is that an eyebrow or a sun visor?
See? That was a sample
I'm the nicest, you're from ISIS
There's another example
You're full of yourself and awful
You're falafel
There is another example
When Organik was forced to ban you from the sport
He had other battle leagues support
And we all saw increases on the annual report
We saw Youtube views going up 20 percent
Female attendance a 110
Chicks were actually asking about upcoming events
And even Ovo and Drizzy wanted to spent
But you?
You watched Blackout on Pay Per View
Invited all his closest friends and neighbors through
Put the TV on a homemade stage for two
And yelled multis at the screen till his face turned blue
And none of us could rebuttal, we were placed on mute
I can't believe you actually wanted unlimited verses
I thought 2 minutes was perfect for a limited person
I even created an interesting fictional version
All that extra sh*t you do is a just a diversion
All that twisting and turning, hippity-pippity
Like middle eastern sprinkle bursting
I know when we first met we were just teens
And right now you think we doing big things
But ten years from now I'll be in the big screen
And you're going to be here in World Domination 15

ROUND 3

[Dizaster]
Game over
You talking about my eyebrows but you're a man
Why you even looking there and why would you care?
I know, I know why you angry my face is bushy there
It reminds your Asian b*tches pus*y hair (of course it does)

(Dumbfoundead: I saw that)

Yeah of course you saw that but you can't see anything else in life
You know what rhymes with Dumbfoundead?
You're so Asian your face looks like a f*cking plug outlet
If you're looking for the full package in him
No, he ain't about sh*t cause judging by the shape of his eyes you could tell he's never been well rounded
He spends all his monthly allowance on
Kung Lao outfits and Kung Pao shrimp
He's a B-boy with a new dance move he's about to start busting out with it
It's called the "left-right-up-down-punch-punch ground kick"
I went to your father's convenience store
To get some 40 ounces and I didn't have some cash
I told him "Give me the bottle Mr.Ming, I'll get you back."
He's like "Oh no, we don't do that."
I was like "Why?"
He's like "Every time you take it a dollar you don't come back."
I'm funny dog, at least I didn't give you some f*cking cliché sh*t like the Asian guy from Hangover
Or call you a chain smoker that plays poker or is probably a game coder
Or probably that your mother is a pale hoe and it's a shame on her
That after she built the railroad, we ran a train on her
That's a case closed, the game over
'Long blade tucked under the raincoat' mind state like J-Hova when he created "Takeover"
I'll shank you in your nose with a coat hanger then pull your face closer hit from close range, from the flamethrower
Break you, throw hay makers and break shoulders
One shot all you saw was his head come off like a ISIS Islamic state soldier
You don't deserve punchlines
You deserve "stuff like this"
You deserve to be treated like a little ass b*tch
I deserve to f*cking beat the sh*t out of you and your homies, I'll f*cking kill them all
I'll have my homie f*cking hook up an atomic bomb and drop it on the Pacific Mall
So stick to playing your part and crashing every car race that you start
I can tell you Korean by the way that you park
I guarantee you, even though he was Caucasian Paul Walker was really Asian at heart
You little f*cking bike commuter
You spineless, rice consuming, science tutor
f*cking online cyber shooter, online computer cyber shooter, high school loser, the f*cking sheltered private schooler
Went on and become a knock-off diamond jeweler
Driving Scion hybrid Ubers with nitrous boosters

Yo your father was a f*cking, listen to me you little faggot

Your father was a violent child abuser
Everyday he made you fight Akuma
And if you lose you couldn't have no spicy tuna
Your wife looks like HAYABUSA
And she designed my Pumas
And the only reason you could afford to get those clothes and kicks
Is cause some homeless orphaned kids
On their opening morning shifts
In Mongolia stitched
Your retro Jordan six
For like 40 cents
Did you get my Tokyo Drift?
You 4 foot 6 Margaret Cho looking Yoko Ono b*tch?
You ain't gon' show guns, you're a Shogun chef
I'll fistf*ck your b*tch with a shinobi fist
And you won't do sh*t
Cause your go-go gadget is a 4 foot GoPro stick
And next time, (stand back bro)
Next time you want to do some fake sh*t to get some views I'mma show you what some real training will do
One shot, two shot, b*tch I'm more Asian than you!