[Verse 1]
I feel like I'm losing control of myself indefinitely
Like I'm in this bubble trapped screaming for help, ah! please someone save me
I'm just walking around my house like a recluse, always stuck in my room
Finding anything to do, like maybe I'll watch the news
Maybe play video games
f*ck it anything to get through
This pain, which keeps driving me insane
Like what the f*ck am I to Do?
I lost my mojo and sh*t I can't rap or even produce
I ain't used to this, that's the truth it is a f*cking horrible thing to go through
Because you see the music, is the only thing I did to help me get through
All the bullsh*t, on a daily
How the f*ck am I supposed to tell my true fans
That I'm becoming a hot mess
And it's building up stress
But I can't confess
I keep focusing on the positives, but
God I feel awful and it's partly because I'm falling apart
[Verse 2]
Listened to beats for about 3 hours a day
Just trying to get the courage of what I should say
If I did come back and did the Trilogy
A month goes on and still nothing
I feel ashamed, like this is my everything!
Rap, Hip Hop, and music is all I know
So I feel so dismal about my future
If this should go away, and me live a regular lifestyle I say
Another month later, I'm in a depressed state
I don't wanna live anymore
Is what I'd say
Anxiety attacks, almost everyday
Derealization happens the next day
I'm putting up a fight, with my mental state
Just trying to my best to get healthy
But it's hard, when you're missing
Your true love, the thing that keeps you happy
Mine is song, and I haven't recorded any
I'm just falling apart
[Verse 3]
I feel like I let everyone down
Took a 3 month break from music
But In reality I gave up, but I'm f*cking back now!
Don't you ever count me out, is what I'd say
But I couldn't even spit out a rap for about 90 days
Everything I'd write was trash
Couldn't produce any beats
Felt like I was becoming
A failure in my own eyes
Felt like I had told the world lies
Like I'd talk about how truly great I was
Tried daily to hype myself up
But was it true? Or was it just all buzz?
Am I a legend or just a
f*cking disgrace, I'm supposed to be The Ace, damnit
Pick up your f*cking head, before I slam it
To the ground, think of all the fans you'll let down
If you are this close to the fame
But call your career a quite right now
What the f*ck are you doing!
Don't give up, just keep pursuing
You'll get there soon mother f*cker
Pick up the pen and pad and start writing now about how you are falling apart!