Eminem

"Mic Check One Two"

[Intro]
Let's just go, man
Is it recording?
Yeah, let's just rhyme out our ass
Bout to kick a rhyme right outta my head
Mic check one two
Mic check one two
Mic check one two

[Verse 1]
Here I go in the place to be, rhyming like this on the M-I-C
Here's the way that I rhyme so naturally, and actually
When I grab the mic, all the people say "M&M, you're one of the funkiest MC's out today
And I say "I agree", because I am a funky dope slamming MC
I slam them back, daddy, eveytime I grab the mic and say I wanna rap, daddy
But you can't, because I take it
Grab the mic and after I'm done, I break it
When I'm done, I just slam the
Microphone and cram it right in your as*h*le
Because 'as*h*le' and 'cram the' didn't rhyme, but that's alright 'cause I'm jamming
On the microphone 'cause I'm slamming, busting out lyrics and you like to examine
My style that I'm doing, but if you step to me pursuing, I'll ruin
All your hopes and dreams, 'cause I work with my man, he's on my team
My man Manix is on my side every time the (?) they say
"Damn, how'd you make a beat like that ma'am?"
And I say "I'm not a ma'am, I'm a sir", and if you step to me your eyes'll be blurred

[Bridge]
One two
One two mic check-a one two
One two one two
Mic check-a check one two
Mic check-a one two one two
Mic check three four six seven eight

[Verse 2]
Mic check one two
Do unto others as you would have them do to you
No, that's not the way I work because
When I rhyme I'm a j*rk
I grab the mic and start dissing
All these MC's and try to put them into submission
Take them out for the count because the amount I throw is so deaf
Word! Deaf didn't rhyme but I
On your windshield just like a turd
Every time that I rhyme you know that I'm
Going to climb to the tip tip top and I'm
Not going to stop 'cause I grab the mic and dop-da dop dop
I f*cked up, but that's alright because my luck's up
No it's not, 'cause here I am, I got a lot to give
And I don't live positive
Now I'm not saying I'm negative
But if I grab the mic I do mega kits
Every time that I grab the mic you know that M&M is gonna be rolling his tongue just like this
And then I go do a funky rhyme and if any MC steps up he gets f*cking dissed
Bad, don't call me dad
Vanilla Ice said that, that made me mad
So when I step to the mic
Know that I gotta clear my throat and excite
I'm trying to get the mic cord away from the stereo so I can bust some material
I take it around my leg, and then all the MC's wanna beg
And say "Yo, please give me a turn!"
I say "No" because it's my turn to burn
And I bust a rhyme like this and you can't step to a rhyme that I do 'cause you're dissed!
You're dissed so bad every time
Sure, he don't get a turn, and he's starting to get mad but I'm
Just going to take the mic, I'm not gonna give it to him because I am
So damn hyped in the place to be
Rhyming like this 'cause I'm an MC
Rhyming so deaf to the happy ass beat
It's kinda gay like Liberace but hey
Listen to the words that I display every time I kick a rhyme this way
You know that the star is worthwhile, every time I grab the mic I'm longer than I mile

[Verse 3]
I waste no time, when I can't flip I caper
I cut your butt up like G Floyd like paper
When I bust a rhyme I'm a stud
That's what I like to say, jump on my pud
Girly girly, would you like to f*ck me f*ck me in my house early?
Or late, I don't care, let's make a date 'cause I don't pump weights to get dates
Just because I'm huge, I bust a lyric
But I get greedy like a Scrooge
When I grab the mic it's kinda stingy
I kick rhymes that ain't dingy
When I bust I'm like forcillin
You try to grab the mic and force it again
But you can't 'cause you are speechless
And I get sandy like teachers
I get sandy, I grab the mic handy
It's so I can get candy
When I bust the sh*t I get like a noogie
Then I boogie, boogie on down because
Every time that I kick a rhyme I just 'dud'
I meant to say 'do', but I got an addiction to friction every time I kick non-fiction
Non-fiction science, every time I grab the mic I got the alliance
Right behind me stepping into the 90's, you know you'll try me and you'll die, G
So don't even try it, I don't buy it, so you'd better keep quiet
'Cause you're into it, ain't nothing but to do it

[Verse 4]
You'd better catch up 'cause you're trailing
You'd better put springs in your ass and jump like Van Halen
Every (time I bust a) rhyme I get like a panther if you're lying that slander
'Cause you're lying like Berry Saunders, every time I grab the mic I get married and I
Like to kick a rhyme that I pick
Every time I pick the mic up I stick
A di*k right up your ass like a faggot
You're gonna die, be crawling with maggots
Every time I dread you like hair, I said you'd better get (?) on your underwear
You'd better run, 'cause if you don't
Afraid you'll be seeing a ghost like a Rake
You ain't an eighth of me, every time I grab the mic girls try to act so faithfully
But I say "No, don't be a fan. Just try to step to my di*k and act like a man"
No, that don't make no sense but every time I cut class like a pair of scissors I get so damn hyped
On the mic, 'cause every time I step to the forefront I like
To wonder on to something that I'm drawn to
Every time I grab the mic and pass it to Sean he
Gets so deaf but I'm not gonna pass it yet
'Cause I burn like acid vet, word!
I'm a stick like a trident 'cause you need guidance

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