Every time I leave my house, pork patrol wanna seek me out
Did I see it, did I do it? C'mon down to the station house
Chase me down, "Hey, how's that high?"
Shine the flashlight around my eyes
Every time some coward cries
They doubt that I have an alibi
[Verse 1]
It's bizarre how I got a disregard for prison bars
But it isn't hard to see why I hate the mainstream
And daydream of beating Dave Matthews with his guitar
I live to scar you with a lit cigar
If I miss the charts, I'll put a mailbomb in your Christmas card
Cause you're jealous of the fact that I'm blowing up and you're envious at heart
My true intentions are cruel intentions, new ways to hurt you with new inventions
You figure you're a star, I'll hit you with a car and flatten you down to 2 dimensions
You want me to be non-violent? It's only gonna happen on a day that I'm silent
Which isn't too often, cause I can't be sober til' you're standing over Lou's coffin
Any other time I got a beer in my hand and mysterious plans to put fear in your fam'
And so degenerates cheer for the champ of born losers, hero to weirdos and porn users
My three last shows, were fiascoes
This dude came up like, "Yo, you see that Ho?" "I dare you to grab her ass"
So I grabbed her snatch and had a fight with these three as*h*les
Now I'm mad at that and there's an APB
The cops kicked my ass when they came for me, like they hold a grudge
So I stood up in the courtroom and told the judge I got A.D.D
[Chorus]
I'm mischievous, I make people want to slit their wrists
A whole lot of parents and critics is all p*ssed at this
But they missed the gist, it's just fictitious
I'm mischievous, my songs make kids wanna slit their wrists
And now a lot of critics and parents is all mad at this
I need clearances to make appearances
Warning, take caution, keep out of children's reach
Cause I spill a speech of bad will to teach
And let the psychos fill the streets
A lot of criminals wanna kill police, steal the keys and set the villains free
You better listen kids cause I'm mischievous, so keep out of children's reach
[Verse 2]
(Oh no!) I'ma ruin your whole show, stumble on the stage drunk moving in slow-mo
Cause you wouldn't know dope, even if you would've sold coke or tried to steal Louis' whole flow
Folks now better than to try and diss
I'll put you in a choke-hold, I'm childish
I'll poke holes in your car tires with my bare hands and sharpened appliances
Cause I'm a product of my environment, so I can't be blamed if my rhymes are violent
Cause every time I'm in silence, asleep, sick thoughts creep in behind my eyelids
Rhymes aside skip the dissin' nonsense, we about to have a real p*ssin' contest
You think I wouldn't let my pee soak your every seam till you weigh as much as Heavy D?
It's a fact misery loves company, and lung disease would work wonderfully
So I teach little kids to smoke, sh*t it's just a joke and it sounds like fun to me
It's as easy as 1,2,3
Come on up to the roof and then jump with me
And when they scrape you up from the street, instead of doing dirt, you'll be buried underneath
From the kids in the projects robbing stores, to the burbs where they steal from the shopping malls
It ain't a MC who don't respect me, so don't get testy
Y'all haven't got the balls
[Chorus]
I'm mischievous, I make people want to slit their wrists
A whole lot of parents and critics is all p*ssed at this
But they missed the gist, it's just fictitious
I'm mischievous, my songs make kids wanna slit their wrists
And now a lot of critics and parents is all mad at this
I need clearances to make appearances
Warning, take caution, keep out of children's reach
Cause I spill a speech of bad will to teach
And let the psychos fill the streets
A lot of criminals wanna kill police, steal the keys and set the villains free
You better listen kids cause I'm mischievous, so keep out of children's reach
[Verse 3]
When you're slumping guys till ya lump they eyes
Up to a pumpkin's size they're like, "Oh no!"
A whole lot of husbands would give me a snuffing if they knew who I'm f*cking like, "Oh no!"
If you drank so much that you don't react to an oak-wood bat across your bony back
And wake up, looking in your wallet and you don't see jack it's like, "Oh no!"
Every time I leave my house, pork patrol want to seek me out
Did I see it, did I do it? Come on down to the station house
Chase me down, "Hey, how's that high?"
Shine the flashlight around my eyes
Every time some coward cries
They doubt that I have an alibi