Merry Muthaf*ckin’ Xmas lyrics

[Intro: Dolemite, Kids & Mother]
Come on over, honey, and give your Uncle Dolemite a kiss
(*lips smack*)
Well, what you want, baby?
Would you tell me a story?
You want me to tell you a story?
Hell yeah! (Me too)
Yes, honey, I'm 'on tell you a story about the badass Eazy-E
He was drinkin' whiskey and gin at the age of three
Listen and listen well, he's a bad motherfu-
Give me that goddamn book!
Here, let me read you this one, "Christmas in Compton"
It was a silent night, yes, a holy night
Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa motherf*ckin' Wright?

[Interlude: Carollers, Eazy-E]
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Merry Christmas, motherf*cker!
*gunshots*

[Verse 1: Eazy-E]
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas and a ho-ho-ho
While I'm riding that c*ck under the mistletoe
Now I'm dashing through the snow (Ooh)
In a candy rag top, 6'4" (Hittin' them switches)
Over the hills I go
Laughing at this ho
Nuts on her chin ring
Makin' me feel right
Oh, what fun it is to know that I'm gonna get this pus*y tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to watch her suck my di*k this way, hey
Ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my di*k
Okay, stop!
'Tis is the season to get bitten
Cop some chronic, and I'm smoking all this sh*t
[Interlude: Santa]
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Come sit on my face, I mean lap
And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho-ho-ho!

[Verse 2: Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride, a Christmas Eve sippin' rum
She said I slide down the chimney and I'm full of c*m
A VCR on the slip with nothin' but porno flicks
Give her some Rudolph the red-nosed rein-di*k
Did ya last long like an everlasting gobstopper?
Give me a pump for his c*ck, he'll be the party popper
I dig a ho, crackin' dough by the North Pole
I wanna be having a hell of a good time f*ckin' in the snow
A trap to drop to his knees, yeah, you know what's up
I nut in crack candy canes, pay him to eat 'em up
Ain't excited now, I'm jumping down, swinging by my toes
Send me some change, I want the candy cream to keep me loot
On the first day, send me a little jack, horny guy
The second day, give me a Georgie Porgie pudding pie
Yeah, so all on the hunt, bon appétit
With a condom in nut a tree!

[Bridge: Buckwheat]
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Yo, where's ya rhyme? Call me Buckwheat
[Verse 3: Buckwheat]
Buckwheat is a rascal that stole Christmas
And all the toys, boys and girls, f*ck ya wishes
I'm not happy, overjoyed in this motherf*cker
No indo under my tree, so Santa be a sucker
Go sh*t on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts
When I was young, I was the only kid who had enough guts to be
Good all year, and on the Eve, I'd stay awake
Just to let America know that Santa was a fake
I used to believe in Saint di*k when Elvis was alive
But all that f*cking bullsh*t got played when I was five
Years old, just stay young, bold writing
Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
I got my two front teeth
Uncle Eazy be the jeezy, and just break me a leaf
Little kids, don't cry when you find out the Santa Claus is just a f*cking lie

[Bridge: Eazy-E]
On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
Three pounds of indo
Two birds of cocaine
And a A, motherf*ckin' K, b*tch

[Chorus: Menajahtwa (b*tches) & Eazy-E]
Eazy-E, oh, Eazy-E
Show us how you treat those b*tches
I saw mommy f*cking Eazy Claus
Close the door, little b*tch, I'm getting these draws
I'ma tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop
I don't give a f*ck, I'm getting Christmas c*ck
Ho-ho-ho! And away I go
Oh, Saint Nick's got a di*k like a pole!
Well, where's our sh*t? This motherf*cker's cheap
Oh, shut the f*ck up, b*tches, and go back to sleep!
[Verse 4: Will 1X]
Yo, black, what do you want for Christmas? (Yo, black, I want a job)
But for my Christmas, gonna get f*cked up, bae don't want some corn-on-the-cob
A Jew will eat some matzo ball soup, but a n*gga will eat some
Chicken and chitlins, watermelon, cornbread, and some Froot Loops
Now who's caroling in my window? Smokin' up indo
Mechalecha high, make a high note

[Verse 5: apl.de.ap]
Ho-ho! Get out my f*cking yard with your carols
You wanna get busy? It's soundin' like a...
Bop-bop-bop-bop, I am a rhymer
I'm talkin' 'bout the Atban Klann will make sh*t come slam, it's Christmas time
The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam, jam, jam

[Verse 6: Will1X]
Yo, what you want for Christmas?
Yo, black, I want some cash
So I can buy some indo, chronic, and some hash

[Verse 7: Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)]
Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
With a rump-pa-bum-bum
A rump-pa-bum-bum

[Refrain]
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up New Year
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up New Year
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up New Year
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up New Year
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
Merry motherf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up New Year

[Outro: Eazy-E & Mother]
You b*tch!
And they all went to prison, and lived f*cked up lives ever after
The end...