The Time of My Life lyrics

Consider me to be a fly on the wall with a bird's eye view
I stare, as my birthtime drew near
The only Earth I knew reared me in a world I grew to fear
I do appear quite nude and warm
I'm like "What's up with the lights and the white uniforms?"
You're damn right you're truly wrong when a hand strikes the newly born
"I can't fight" I'm cruely scorned. In a man's life, the beauty's gone
I was scared with fright through the storm
I'm prepared to write a mutiny song
"It's a miracle Lord!" Damn my di*k is long
Oh, that's just the umbellical chord
Clip clip, snip snip.and now it's gone along with my foreskin
One of them awful things that they do to the offspring
The sting is lessened by the drugs they pump into my miniature body
Making us addicts just that quick is their signature hobby
An infamous robbery, and if I'm not careful then my shaft'll break
It's got me coming up with creative ways to masturbate
I wanna be held but my father rebelled and my mother's unconscious
I went from a dark bliss to some boxes
It's obnoxious the way the doctors poke and prod
Seriously I can barely function
This is my first out-of-body experience and alien abduction
I'm barely a munchkin after just minutes of labor
They're putting my tiny footprints on some birth certificate paper
My personal hell of isolation began in an incubator
To think of it later, slice open my wrist and check the microchip data
They didn't capture it on beta film or audio
The year made me a dragon, the month made me a scorpio
The weak, feeble, helpless baby boy cried for nights
But that day was the time of my life
But that day was the time of my life
But that day, but that day was the time of my life
But that day, but that day, but that day, but that day, but
That day was the time of my life

[Sage goes full retard]
It's like, I don't know how to act
It's like my fan of one hundred?
Just flung math?
It's like, I've been Keanu Reeves understudy for the past year and a half
It's like, I'm a full-fledged member of the 90210 cast
It's like, I'm ??? yeah! I'm a ??? coming fast
It's like, I'm ??? dude, I'm serious you're gonna get your cash
It's like, I'm trying to cover up my pain with laughs
See, me and irony we go way back
You can peep us exchanging insults and snaps on 8-track
But once the laughter dies down I'm always the one who has to face the fact
And finding method in his madness is like a needle in a haystack
And he'll take that, took it, good one
You know what irony?
I've come to the realization that laughter ain't the best medicine
It's just a primitive form of Novocaine
This kid is to live long and know the pain
So while substances float through the veins of my father to control his brain
I'm resistant from the X's etched on my back written sober and plain
I'mma go to your grave
Before I die
At least one time
I promise, but to be honest I'm just not ready for the punchline