How to Be an Indie Rapper lyrics

[Intro]
Good morning children
Children, please sit down
You all know me, Superintendent GTB
We have something, extra special this morning
Something - ay sit down, Gracie, Xavier
There's not going to be any of that, sit down
We have two very special professors with us today
MC Lars, and Weerd Science {YAYYYYYY!}
They're here to teach all of us how to be, indie rappers

[Verse 1: Weerd Science]
[Clears throat] AHEM!
Here's a little rap about the steps that it takes
To be an indie rapper, but who knows, one day one of the greats
I'm not saying that it's easy but these steps can help
If you follow 'em close you could carve out a career for yourself
STEP ONE! Get your hide ready to tour in a van
The limelight might sparkle but it's not real man
STEP TWO! You've got to flood the internet with material
Go serial, 'til it spreads like venereal
STEP THREE! You've got to keep a close eye on your ticket stubs
The only bottles you'll be poppin' is the water from the club
STEP FOUR! You can forget about the champagne and filets
Cause it's more like Tostitos and old PB&J
STEP FIVE! This is probably one of the most important
Never sign to a major and let your heart get extorted
STEP SIX! You've got to book all the shows that you can
And hopefully you get a chance to win the headliner's stance
STEP SEVEN! Never mind all the pointin' and the laughin'
Your girl won't be psyched you spent all your time rappin'
STEP EIGHT! Remember hip-hop's about being true
Gotta go, peace, Weerd Science, more work to do