Serenade My Life lyrics

[Intro]
Yeah, uh, uh
It's Ca$his
Serenade My Life

[Verse 1]
Focusing on opening emotions that I hold within
Surrounded by my inner demons thinking I should roll with them
I don't wanna go to hell, I don't wanna go to jail
But I wanna kill a man maybe I should kill myself
I've been sittin' contemplating suicidal situations
Now I'm placed in that position to revive the whole nation
And I'm spottin' n*ggas hating, I'm just watchin', being patient
Praying for my own existence, some say I'm a mental patient
Drugs are taking over me, sorrow is controlling me
Follow my blind heart tomorrow on the coldest streets
I've been cryin' for a week, will is weak, can I speak
Without someone judging me? Pushin' me and shovin' me
Mama if you love me you will really let me go
But I live for a cause that I don't really know
Am I wrong if I cry? But I can't cause in time
For the truth in my life I will be crucified

[Chorus x2]
I'm sitting back pacing (Patient) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life
And I can't escape it (Escape it) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life
[Verse 2]
Conversating with my brother's spirit, hear him saying
"Strangers in the dark lurking, you just gotta feel 'em waiting"
I ain't eating, I ain't sleeping, closer to when I ain't breathing
Death is running over me, my conscious keep on showing me
Ever since my early teens knew this was my destiny
World gotta feel my pain, I'm no longer questioning
When? Where? Or how? I will, happen for when I get killed
Never take my voice away, through record sales I will live
View me as the realest n*gga, poppin' pills, drinkin' liquor
Sucked into the pressure makes me turn to my aggression
Got a lot a homies dead, buried all in my head
Cry inside every time I ever stop to read my hands
How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man
All of y'all fraudulent, you don't like it? Kill me then
How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man
All of y'all fraudulent, you don't like it? Kill me then

[Chorus x2]
I'm sitting back pacing (Patient) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life
And I can't escape it (Escape it) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life

[Verse 3]
Sunk into a sea of self-misery being dealt
My only fear is lyrically me not being felt
I'm much harder, much smarter, more true, f*ck you
No matter what the conversation this is what it comes to
Imagine staring at your friends feeling they don't love you
You ride 'till the end but they feel they above you
I got a chosen few, name my homies in a song
Defy all odds, more for me when I'm gone
I try to be a better man, baby if you understand
My love for you is true but I ain't really love myself
Seem nobody wanna help, better off to end this way
Talking to my only friends: Weed, thieves, Hennessy
Came from a broken home, smoke 'till the dope is gone
Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song
Came from a broken home, smoke 'till the dope is gone
Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song
[Chorus x2]
I'm sitting back pacing (Patient) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life
And I can't escape it (Escape it) I'm ready and waitin' (Waitin')
For my homicide, Serenade My Life

[Outro]
Serenade My Life
Ca$his
This is real sh*t
Serenade My Life
I ain't scarred, I ain't running
I'm waitin', come gunning n*gga
Live as a man, die as a man