Detritus (The One They Kept) lyrics

I am in the bathroom
Cowering, quivering, shaking
Within my stomach begins an eruption
I am surviving
The bluish liquid spills forth from my mouth the toxic cleanser
Tastes so fine perhaps I'll have to make another
Windshield, washer, c*cktail
Retracing the events which lead me here
To this psych ward I'm not convinced
But everyone is so confident
That I'm right where I belong
That b*tch, that c*nt, that whore
Did she think I'm idiot (yes, she did)
That I wouldn't find out
A replacement, a clone of perfection
Had snuck in and took shape
A snake. a fiend once friendly
How could that be faked?
My own flesh and blood repelled me
Altered and strangled
Cast me out
That's when I picked up the knife
I shushed her quiet then stabbed her quickly 19 times
I kept my five-year-old son
My precious for last
The blade was slippery his sister's blood was everywhere
I made quite the mess you see
That's when it hit me
The realization of what I've done
Searching frantically I couldn't locate the apparatus
To plant it straight into my heart, I began to panic
Then shaking, sobbing, I discovered my liquid hold
Rest eternal alongside my own
The father, daughter and the son
Never apart eternity all together
With none to oppose
I wish I were f*cking dead
I should be f*cking dead
I'm the monster
I'm the beast
I'm the one who killed his own
But yet somehow I am still free