If You Can’t Beat ’Em Join Em lyrics

[Intro: Violent J]
Come here, man. Check it out
You know there laughing at you, man
f*ck 'em, man, you know what I'm saying?
Come down here, man
And join the carnival, man

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Gangstas bangin', nuts straight hangin'
Freakazoid baseheads sparin' changin'
Homeless hobos pushin' dead bodies in a cart
Uh, listen to the good part
Pigs are outdoors, roamin' the land
Chewin' on somebody's head. I don't understand
It's to much for my nugget to process
So I stop the car, step out, and get undressed
Then climb the trees and kick it with the owls
You don't like that you can suck my balls
Just me and my homeboy Lloyd, you see
Probably can't. Nobody can see him but me
Lunatics, zombies, and goons
Roaming underneath the 17 moons
Of Delray. Hell ray suicide poison
Can't beat 'em. f*ck it. I might as well join 'em

[Chorus: Violent J]
Dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum (Detroit)
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum diddy dum diddy dum dum dee (f*ck off, man!)
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum dee dum dee dum dee
Dum- If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
[Verse 2: Shagy 2 Dope]
Hey! b*tch boy, were the f*ck are you goin'?
Don't you know they don't like richies were you goin'?
You don't belong here. I think you best leave
Before I grab you by your chicken neck and squeeze
I take off the sewer caps and dive in
I breed dead chicken boys for my little friend
To snack on. His name is Willaby Rags
"Thanks, you know, you're not a bad guy, Shaggs."
It rains only twice a year around here
The streets are dry because now the sky
Is filled with smog and fog and funk
I finally had it. I'm gonna jump!
Aaaah!
(is he dead?)
No. I bounced. my skin's made of rubber
A toxic waste freak show, motherf*cker
And I'm part of the circus show
Can't beat 'em, join 'em, like I did, yo

[Bridge: Violent J]
Nobody wants ya. Got nowhere to go ([?] baby)
Come down and join up with the carnival show (Alright)
You're addicted to crack and you don't have a back (No back)
Here at the freak show we don't care about that (Come on)
You might have two heads, and you might have ten (You might have ten)
You might have a finger growing out of your chin (Oh)
Here at the carnival, you can't go wrong (No, baby)
It doesn't it matter if your neck bone's three feet long
[Outro: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
If you can't beat 'em, join em
If you can't beat 'em, join em
If you can't beat 'em, join em
Hell, just join ‘em, mother f*cker (If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em)
If you can't beat 'em, join em
If you can't beat 'em, join em
If you can't beat 'em, join em
So just join ‘em, b*tch boy (If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“I can’t”)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“I can’t”)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“f*ckin’, uh”)
Just join ‘em, mother f*ck (If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“Hobos”)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“f*ckin’ wineos”)
If you can't beat 'em, join em (“Mother f*ckin’”)
Just join ‘em, b*tch boy (“Mother f*ckin’ lunatics, maniacs”)
Just join them
‘Cause you can't (“f*ckin’ psychotic serial slaughters”)
Can't beat em (“Mother f*ckin’”)
So just join those mother f*ckers (“Kleptopathic f*ckin’ insane f*ckin’”)
Can't beat ‘em
Just join ‘em (“f*ckin’ stranglers and sh*t”)
Can't beat ‘em
Just join em, b*tch boy
(“Those -those mother f*ckers that be eatin’ people and sh*t after they kill ‘em, you know what I’m sayin’? Those mother f*ckers that eat, uh, f*ckin’ horses and sh*t, and f*ckin’ them f*ckin’, those mother f*ckers that eat f*ckin’ dead bodies and sh*t, them too. And uh, f*ckin transvestites, f*ckin’, big f*ckin’ nasty b*tches and sh*t *laughs* All those mother f*ckers, man. I’m for real man, ‘cause I didn’t see any sh*t!”)