Tyler, the Creator and Earl Sweatshirt Before-show Interview lyrics

TYLER, THE CREATOR and EARL SWEATSHIRT are two members of OFWGKTA. The atmosphere backstage before their Sydney show was beyond hyper - different members of Odd Future would come and go, and everyone was yelling, beating each other up and throwing chairs across the room. It was a little bit intimidating but mostly exciting, and reminded us of those high school drama classes where everyone just wanted to be the centre of attention.Ingrid Kesa: The theme of this issue is 'Hang Out In Real Life'. Hayley and I met on Myspace--
Tyler, the Creator: Are you serious? That's cool.
Ingrid: We can't remember who added who. Now we're best friends and we live together.
Tyler: That's tight! That's awesome!
Ingrid: It's a modern bromance. Are you guys in love?
[Tyler and Earl look at each other in disgust]
Tyler: No!
Ingrid: Why not?
Tyler: I'm into chicks...
Earl Sweatshirt: [To Tyler] They're recording you. Don't ever say nothin' that's dumb -- it's official.
Hayley Morgan: But you can love each other as friends
Tyler: Yeah, but I'm not in love! That's my n*gga though.
Ingrid: Do you have a handshake?
Tyler: You should be afraid of asking that, because it involves hurting this guy. I always just hit him.
Hayley: You just hit each other?
Tyler: Yeah.
Ingrid: Have you ever hit each other properly? Like, had a punch-up?
Earl: Ask Jasper this question.
Tyler: [Calling out to Odd Future member Jasper Dolphin, who is lurking in the background] Jasper, how do we say 'hi' to each other?
[Before Jasper can answer, Tyler and Earl jump off the couch and land on top of him. Soon chairs and insults are flying through the air as the rest of Odd Future join them in saying 'hi' to Jasper. Once it's over, he melodramatically limps across the room while trying to keep a straight face.]
Tyler: [To Jasper] Why don't you love meeee?
Hayley: Why can't you all just hug each other
Earl: We don't know how.
Ingrid: You just do this [fake yawns and puts arm around Hayley].
Tyler: [Laughs] Nah.
Earl: We don't like each other like you guys like each other. You guys be making out, huh?
Ingrid and Hayley: No!
Tyler: [Nodding at Ingrid] She be thinking about it all the time.
Hayley: Once when we were sleeping in the same bed she accidentally hugged me.
Earl: See! You guys are in love.
Tyler: You guys are secretly in love! You guys are secretly in love and it's tight!
Ingrid: Anyway, did you have Myspace? What was your Myspace name?
Tyler: Tyler, the Creator.
Earl: My Myspace name was Facebook.
Hayley: Who would win a thumb war?
Tyler: Duh, me!
Ingrid: Who can do the robot better?
Tyler: I can. [Pauses] Actually, he can do the robot better.
Earl: I off top cannot! You're the star dancer of this conversation.
Tyler: Not me -- he is.
Earl: I am clearly not.
Ingrid: I think you can move Earl -- look at those lanky arms.
Tyler: Off top, do you guys shower with each other?
Earl: Yeah, don't you guys live together?
Ingrid: In separate bedrooms
Earl: Well, you guys are gonna live together for the rest of your lives.
Tyler: Yeah, you guys are in love.
Earl: You guys might not be gay, but you're definitely in love.
Ingrid: Would you ever live together?
Tyler: Nope.
Earl: f*ck no.
Tyler: f*ck that. f*ck no; suck my di*k.
Ingrid: Why not?
Earl: Not at all. No. Never. I would never live with this n*gga.
Hayley: Who do you live with?
Tyler: I live with my mother and my sister.
Earl: It's better that we don't live together. It's how it's supposed to be.
Ingrid: How do you like girls to dress?
Tyler: If a girl can wear a t-shirt, that sh*t's tight.
Earl: Yeah, whatever fits. I like a girl to dress like how a boy dresses.
Tyler: I don't like make-up at all.
Ingrid: Do you want to get married one day? What song would you walk down the aisle to?
Tyler: 'Perfect' by Snoop Dogg.
Earl: 'Perfect' by Lil B
Ingrid and Haley: Awww! hug!
[Tyler and Earl don't hug]
Ingrid: What song do you sing at karaoke?
Tyler: I've never been to karaoke.
Hayley: You haven't lived! Do you have a 'song'?
Earl: We have albums.
Tyler: We have Eminem's Relapse album, and Lil B.
Ingrid: Do you have a best friend?
Tyler: Yeah, this guy right here [holds up his asthma puffer].
Hayley: Earl, what about you? Do you have a best friend?
Earl: All of them [points to Tyler, Jasper, Taco, Little Bro et al].
Ingrid: Jasper looks like he needs to come in for some questions.
Earl: He does not need to come in for some questions. He's one of my best friends, also one of my worst.
Ingrid: There were 14-year-olds smoking cigarettes out the front of the show before - do you think that's cool?
Tyler: No. That's something I'm so against -- smoking. I don't smoke at all. I think that cigarettes are actually retarded. I don't understand why people do that to themselves.
Ingrid: Have you come across any Australian snacks that you really like?
Tyler: Golden Gaytimes! I love the Golden Gaytimes in my mouth!
Earl: You know what I don't like that's Australian? Vegemite.
Ingrid and Hayley: Boooo!
Tyler: You f*cking weirdos. Your breakfast is weird too. You eat tomatoes for breakfast - what the f*ck?
Hayley: What do you eat for breakfast, then?
Tyler: Bacon, pancakes...
Earl: Our bacon is nice and crisp. You have f*cking slabs of ham steak.
Ingrid: What would you cook a girl for dinner?
Tyler: Waffles, bacon, eggs...
Earl: A breakfast sandwich.
Ingrid: What's a breakfast sandwich?
Earl: It's just where you get eggs, cheese and bacon. I can cook. [Proudly] I can make waffles from scratch. I learnt how a long time ago. And I can make fried chicken. And tacos.
[At this point the whole Odd Future crew has gathered around the couch and are yelling over the top of each other while pegging chairs across the room. Management tells Ingrid and Hayley to finish the interview.
Ingrid: I think we have to wrap it up.
Tyler: You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Earl: Let's ask them some questions.
Tyler: We're asking you guys the questions now. When did you figure out you were in love? [Ingrid and Hayley laugh] This is a serious question. No one's going to judge. What's Ingrid's favorite colour?
Hayley: I'm going to say green.
Tyler: What's Hayley's favorite colour?
Ingrid : White
Earl: If there was a strap-on, who would pitch and who would receive?
Hayley: No, that's not a thing.
Tyler: Will it be awkward in the morning?
Ingrid: Ugh, shut up! She punched me in the face recently.
Earl: [To Tyler] Are we f*cked up right now?
Tyler: I don't know, I just want to know what they're into.
Earl: Is this wrong?
Tyler: She punches her in the face!
Hayley: It was an accident!
Earl: [To Ingrid and Hayley] If your mom was falling off a cliff, and she was falling off a cliff, which one would you grab?
Ingrid and Hayley: Both.
Tyler: You can only grab one.
Hayley: I would jump too.
Tyler: No, you wouldn't. You're being passive aggressive.
Earl: if you had to hit your mom in the head or a baby in the head with a baseball bat, which one would you choose?
Ingrid: Hayley -- she'd bounce back.
Tyler: Would you rather that she gets stabbed in the face by a mugger named Jonathan or would you spit in a baby's mouth and face and throw sh*t at it?
Ingrid: I'd spit in the baby's mouth -- birds do that -- and it wouldn't hurt.
Tyler: [To Hayley] Damn, she really loves you! She really loves you. Hey, that's love. To spit and throw bricks and sh*t at a baby.
Ingrid: bricks? No! What's the next question?
Tyler: You like these questions, because you're in love with her. You love her 100%, and she's only at 70%. You're just waiting for her to come to that side of town. This is sick! I'm so happy for you guys.