Merry Muthaf*ckin’ Xmas lyrics

[Intro: Dolemite, Baby, Mother & Eazy-E]
Come on over, honey and give your uncle Dolemite a kiss
*Kissing sounds*
Well, what you want, baby?
Would you tell me a story?
You want me to tell you a story?
Hell yeah, me too!
Yes, honey, I'mma tell you a story about the bad-ass Eazy-E, he was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three. Listen and listen well, he's a bad motherfu-
Gimmie that god damn book! Here, let me read you this one. Christmas in Compton. It was a silent night, yes, a holy night until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthaf*ckin' Wright

[Carolers]
Deck the hall with boughs of holly
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
'Tis the season to be jolly

Merry Christmas, motherf*cker!
*Gunshots*

[Verse 1: Eazy-E]
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas and a ho ho ho!
While I'm riding that c*ck under the mistletoe
Now dashing through the snow
In a candy red top 6-4 (Hittin' them switches)
Over the hills I go
Laughing at this ho
Nuts on her chin ring
Making me feel right
Oh, what fun it is to know
That I'm gonna get this pus*y tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells
She's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to watch her suck my di*k this way, hey
Ring them bells, ring them bells
She's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my di*k
Okay, stop!
This is the season to get bitten
Compton crime lick and I'm smoking on this sh*t
[Interlude: Santa]
Ho ho ho, come sit on my face - I mean lap
And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho, ho

[Verse 2: Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride
A Christmas Eve stick of rum
She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna c*m
A VCR on the set with nothing but porno flicks
Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstopper
Give me a hump for his c*ck will be the party poppa
I dig a ho, crack a dough by the nuts, oh
I want to be having a good time f*ckin' in the snow
I made him drop to his knees
Yeah you know what's up
I said here's some candy canes, eat 'em up
I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes
Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot
I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy
I want him to shake me a clunchy for a chick prod
So all on the hunt, bon appetite
And a condom in a tree

[Bridge: Eazy-E]
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Yo where's ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat
[Verse 3: Buckwheat]
Buckwheat is a wascal
That's no Christmas
And all the toys, boys and girls
f*ck ya wishes
I not happy, overjoyed in this motherf*cker
No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucker
No sh*t on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts
When I was young I was the only kid
Who had enough guts to be
Good ole hearing on the East
I'd stay awake just to let America know
That Santa was a fake
I used to believe in Saint di*k when Elvis was alive
But all the f*cking bullsh*t got played when I was five
Years old, just stay young, bold writing
Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
I got my two front teeth
Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and just spread me a leaf
Little kids, don't cry
When you find out the Santa Claus is just a f*cking lie

[Bridge: Eazy-E]
On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
Three pounds of indo
Two birds of cocaine
And a A, muthaf*ckin' K, b*tch
[Hook: Menajahtwa (b*tches) & Eazy-E]
Eazy-E, oh, Eazy-E
Show us how you treat those b*tches
I saw mommy f*cking Eazy Claus
Close the door, little b*tch, I'm getting these draws
I'ma tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop
I don't give a f*ck, I'm getting Christmas c*ck
Ho, ho, ho and away I go
Oh, Saint Nick's got a di*k like a pole
Well, where's our sh*t?
This motherf*cker's cheap
Shut the f*ck up, b*tches and go back to sleep

[Verse 4: Will 1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
(Yo black, I want a job)
For my Christmas, all the f*cked up people
Want some corn-on-the-cob
A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a n*gga'll eat some
Chitlins, watermelon, cornbread, and some Froot Loops
Now who's caroling in my window
Smokin' up indo
Mechalecha hi, make a high note

[Verse 5: apl.de.ap]
Get out my f*cking yard with your camel
You wanna get busy and Santa like a...
I am a rhymer
The Atban Klann will make sh*t slam, it's Christmas time
The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam, jam, jam

[Verse 6: Will1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
Yo black, I want some cash
So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash

[Verse 7: Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)]
Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
A rump pa bum bum
A rump pa bum bum

[Refrain]
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
And have a f*cked up new year
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
And have a f*cked up new year
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' christmas
And have a f*cked up new year
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up new year
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up new year

[Outro: Eazy-E & Mother]
You b*tch!
And they all went to prison, and lived f*cked up lives ever after. The End