No Handlebars lyrics

by

Flobots


[Verse 1]
Now, normally I'm pretty conflict avoidant
Just ignore sh*t if it's just annoyin'
I don't write a diss track about Stranger Things Episode Seven
I just be like, "That's disappointin'"
But recently, I was just acquainted
With a young man maybe once a fan of ours
(Hey, look, this guy's covering Handlebars.)
That's cool, what's he say in his bars?
(Um, instead of 'my bike', he says 'your girl'.)
Oh, that's really clever
(Oh, it gets even better.)
Oh, naturally, these days it has to be thoroughly crafted to be received fashionably
(Oh, yeah, you have to see this
His masterpiece is like a master thesis
In this project, he concocts a fascinating twist of logic
Describes a woman's body like it's just an object.)

[Break]
Mmm, watch out, watch out, hold up, hold up

[Verse 2]
I think that's been done
Yeah it's been done
(Well, maybe, yeah.)
I think that's been dumb
Yeah and then some
(Yeah, I guess so.)
I won't hold it against'm
(Oh, really, why not?)
Because he's just twenty-one
Tryin' to get attention
(Actually, he's twenty-two.)
Oh, then that's disappointing
(His name is Logan Paul.)
Naw, man, I don't listen to boy bands
(No, man, all the kids love his stuff. You don't know'm at all.)
What the f*ck, this guy's got like a million followers
(Twelve million. Way more than all of yours)
Probably has like a billion dollars
(Well, if you care so much, then call a lawyer)

[Sample]
- Who's that bike he gon' fall off?
- Honey, ain't nobody in that video gon' have a booty like mine
- That's why he can ride it with no handlebars
- He don't need one, he don't need one! Okay!
- Huh, right here, you get lost--
- Help!
- Missin' persons report. Hah!


[Verse 3]
Now, why you gotta do it like that
Took a nice track and abuse it like that
With your stupid white rap
Follow my music, my path
But crash into an ice patch
And it threw your ass back to the bougie heights
That I presume you might have
But I don't really know your music like that
I mean, I don't know your movies like that
I guess I don't really get what you do
So put your mic back on the bike rack
Tonight
'Cause my lady says she's not attracted
By male dominant dumb sh*t
That could die
Look, Donald Trump's kid has a ride
That's a woman
That's a bike
That's a young kid
That's a mind
That is something that you might consider maybe just a little bit
I know it's all just a joke
But I disavow
The whole system's broke
Gotta fix it now
You can't handle bars
So you mangle ours
Til you split the spokes
Now they're stickin' out
Like Pinocchio's nose
That grows and twists
Around hokey flows
You keep p*ssin' out
Just to get the crowd to buy merchandise
With our words inscribed on 'em?
That doesn't seem right
I think this clown here
Deserves some pies on him
I'll put these rhymes in my first advice column
If you like someone
Don't blatantly bite from 'em
If you like women
Don't make a bike from 'em!
God, sorry if I sound too do-goodie
But for the sake of our community
Huh
I'm gonna take the opportunity
To letcha know
There's another stage after puberty

[Outro]
Mmm, watch out, watch out, hold up, hold up

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