Chinese Restaurant Skit lyrics

Customer: Yo, let's go to this next Chinese-Muslim joint. We could get some shrimp fried rice and make Salah at the same time

Customer: Aight, cool

Restaurant Guy: (Humming) (Sings) You are not alone ...

Customer: Ey yo, Ey yo Chang Wang, what's up

Restaurant Guy: I'll be right out. Right. Wait. One second. Okay, then. Fine. Your order

Customer: Lemme get, um, lemme get two of them beef fried rices over there. Lemme get a half a chicken wing. Don't put that little retarded leg in it --

Restaurant Guy: -- Right --

Customer: -- just cut that off. Don't put no onion in my white rice

Customer: Yo yo yo. I need four chicken wings fried hard and sh*t

Restaurant Guy: What's this? Hold on? What's this? The two of you? At once? Okay, then. You want beef

Customer: No no no, we want beef to eat. We got no beef

Customer: I want four chicken wings fried hard, n*gga, what the f*ck is you talking 'bout

Restaurant Guy: All right. I'll kick your monkey asses my f*cking self
Customer: Whoa whoa, what are you coming over the counter for?

Restaurant Guy: You think I open a restaurant in the middle of the hood and don't know what's going on? I f*cking represent

Customer: I'll f*ck you the f*ck up

Restaurant Guy: I will avenge my brothers by representing and whooping your asses, word is bond

Customer: This ain't Channel 5, n*gga, somebody gonna die

Restaurant Guy: Okay, then. I will show you Flying Fist of Judah.

Customer: You ain't gonna show me sh*t

Restaurant Guy: That's right

Customer: I'll show you these nuts

Restaurant Guy: You and you

Customer: Straight from Mortal Kombat

Restaurant Guy: You're just talking. Obviously the two of you are just b*tch-ass n*ggers

Customer: n*gga, well then do something, you talking all your bullsh*t
Customer: So what's up, so what's up?

Restaurant Guy: All right. This is a Chinese restaurant, but like Burger King, have it your way.

(Punching noises)

Customer: Ah! This n*gga here ...