(Verse 1: Bender)
Yo tell the crowd to beware, I get awful sick from the various shots of whiskey
Barrels of scotch, fall down the stairs once I got too dizzy
Spare me the water, give me a chair and a vodka mickey
Parish the thought of rest, fetch the hair of the dog that bit me
Barely could walk, fiendin', no Mastercard or Visa
In the Market where I go to saw the tops off parking meters
Party creature sippin' Margaritas, a harsh procedure
How I gargle Ceasars mixed with carpet-cleaner 'til I start to seizure
And I slept for most the car ride
Scraped against the guard rail, woke up just in time to see the sparks fly
These tavern lights are a far-cry from star-shine
It's dark times tonight, when bar-flies drink their hearts dry
So tip your glasses to this cinematic instant-classic
It's systematic liver damage 'til I kick the habit
I'm in your mansion's liquor cabinet fillin' up a picnic basket
With your liquid assets flippin' off the hidden cameras
(Sample: Mickey Rourke as Hank Chinaski in *Barfly*)
"Keep the change, pour yourself a drink! Give everybody a new round!"
(Chorus: Bender and Patience)
Fill 'er up!
Spill my guts but I'll never spill my cup
One-fifty-one, touch the tongue, I'm out to lunch
Son's going off you can feel it in your gut
I'm'a kill it 'til I'm slumped over, chillin' in the cut
X 2
(Verse 2: Patience)
Hide your wives and daughters, I'm spoiling my Irish quarter
A boozehound, half-in-the-bag, not kind-a sort-a
It's talked about but rarely seen like a flying saucer
Careless and mean, dinner's a pint and a side of vodka
Post-modern Dylan Thomas: a promise I've rightly honoured
Bashful and fly, mastered my high when my mind is altered
With troubled, polluted blood I stumble up to the mic stand
I'll spend my lifespan tryin' to wreak havoc like Iceland
A vicious tradition skipped a few generations to get to me
A rebel streak, senseless with substance since I was seventeen
Spent my 20s on useless pursuits now there's no remedy
I took it to the 'enth degree, pondering over Hennessey
From a foam cup, cell phone blown up
VSOP, ecstasy, depressed for weeks sho' nuff
Hold up, let me see, look at my choices close-up
No luck, only solution is gettin' toe-up...
(Bridge: Patience)
So drunk I'll never get to my bed...
And I'd better quit while I'm ahead
(Chorus: Bender and Patience)
X 2
(Scratches: DJ CalKuta)
"Get drunk and I stumble" -J-Ro/Tha Alkaholiks
"Cause you don't wanna test me when I'm tipsy off the liquor"
-Tek/Smif-N-Wessun