(If You Want Love) Lower Your Expectations lyrics

[Intro]
We all want love
How many single ladies out there, looking for love tonight? (Wooo!)
Yeah, woo that sadness out
There's more where that came from
Ladies, I know what you want, want, want

[Verse 1]
You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
The kind of guy that gets along with your friends
Without being attracted to any of them
A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy;
A half good, half bad, half boy
Loves your brothers, sensitive but not weak and
Is a great lover, calls your mother on the weekend
Now you might think that this guy only exists in your mind
Guess what: You're right!
If you want love, lower your expectations a few
Because Prince Charming would never settle for you
If you want love, just pick a guy and love him
And if he's got a thing for feet, say: "f*ck it, sweep me off 'em"

[Interlude]
Now the good thing is that at least men have very realistic expectations for women... He said, sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song
[Verse 2]
You want a girl that's nice, a girl that's not
Obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot
The kind of girl that you can show to your folks
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes
A real girl, a hot girl; a really hot girl;
A brand new, really hot, real doll
Wants to impress you, doesn't care if you notice
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with
Now you might think that this girl only exists in your mind
But she's real, but last week she died
If you want love, lower your expectations a lot
You might think your di*k is a gift, I promise it's not
If you want love, just pick a girl and love her
Then whip out your di*k and let the girl you love decline the offer

[Bridge]
I don't want a neat freak, I don't want a slob
Somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job
'Cause I won't settle for less than perfect
We want perfect children, a perfect life
A perfect husband or a perfect wife
But deep down we know, we don't deserve it
But we all deserve love, even on the days when we aren't our best
'Cause we all suck, but love can make us suck less
We all deserve love, it's the very best part of being alive
And I would know, I just turned 25