“Social Brand Consultant” lyrics


Bo Burnham

Hello, my name is Bo Burnham. And I am a former comedian, turned social brand consultant. It’s a very exciting time to be a, uh, brand. It’s also a bit of a scary time because customers expect a lot more from their brands than they did in the past. During this incredibly necessary and overdue social reckoning that we’re having in our culture, it is no longer acceptable for brands to stay out of the conversation. Consumers want to know, “Are you willing to use your brand awareness to effect positive social change?” Which will create more brand awareness. The question I ask the brands I work with is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is… “Are you gonna be on the right side of history?”

The question isn’t, “What are you selling?” Or… or “What service are you providing?” The question is, “What do you stand for?” Who are you, Bagel Bites?

All these big companies, they’re so scared of all this social change, and I come in and I put their fears to rest. You know, I tell them, “Just be honest. Tell your customers that… that JPMorgan is against racism.” In theory.

The question is no longer, “Do you want to buy Wheat Thins?” For example. The question is now, “Will you support Wheat Thins in the fight against Lyme disease?”

There’s no sugarcoating it. The world is… f*cked up. And you’ve got a choice as a brand. You can… hide and bury your head in the sand and hope it fixes itself, or you can roll up your sleeves and get to work, and sell Butterfingers.
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